Access Panels: the Dummy Version

A typical access panel

Several of our Antisocial Network staffers have had the same surprise over the years: plumbing is buried in the walls, meaning a plumber has to cut through the drywall to fix a leaky valve or rearrange the plumbing for a remodel. DIYers often find themselves in the same position, especially those with jetted whirlpool tubs (Jacuzzi®), because those tubs also have electrical parts that can fail. Sadly, eHow.com's Emily Patterson decided she could help those poor DIY types when they wondered "How to Make an Access Panel for a Jacuzzi Bathtub"¹ at HomeSteady.com.

Perhaps due to her internet chops — Patterson "holds a computing certificate," whatever that means — Emily managed to find instructions for performing this task. Unfortunately, her main reference was for framing an access panel during construction, and Emily then managed to conflate those instructions with a set of suggestions for using prefab panels in exiting walls. Either way, someone who followed her instructions would be, to put it politely, screwed.

Take these steps, for instance:

Measure the horizontal distance between studs, and transfer this measurement to a piece of 2-foot-by-4-foot lumber by marking the distance from the end with a tape measure. Cut the wood on the mark with a handsaw. Position the piece of 2-foot-by-4-foot lumber horizontally at the top of the opening. Align the center of the edge of wood with the edge of the remaining sheetrock. Position the piece of 2-foot-by-4-foot lumber horizontally at the top of the opening. Align the center of the edge of wood with the edge of the remaining sheetrock.

Umm, Emily? "2-foot-by-4-foot lumber"? are you (and your content editor) friggin' kidding us? Oh, and even if you had managed to get the dimensions right, it would have been nice if you'd explained how to fix the blocking (which is what these 2-by-4s are) in place with the drywall already installed... not to mention that with a prefab access panel, you don't even need blocking...

Patterson's instructions; which, by the way, cleverly omit explaining where the panel should be placed; are for a temporary access panel. She says to cut a hole in the drywall, install blocking, cut a new piece of drywall to fit the hole, and cover the cut edges with "trim" (we imagine she means "molding"). We wondered why she didn't just use the piece of drywall she'd taken out of the hole, since it's already finished to match the room...

Clearly, Ms Patterson had never heard of cutting a plumbing access panel before, and didn't quite get the concept clear in her mind before writing this rubbish. Even if she'd gotten it right, though, we'd still be giving her a Dumbass of the Day award for that "2-foot-by-4-foot lumber" crap!

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_7167373_make-access-panel-jacuzzi-bathtub.html

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