Saturday, March 31, 2018

Formation Evaluation for Geology Dummies

Example of data used for formation evaluation
Example of data used for formation evaluation
We've come full circle to end our week of DotD nominations from the fertile fields of WiseGEEK.com, and to do so we decided to "Dance with the one that brung us," as an old boss used to say. A couple of months ago we ran across a post at the site (by Paul Reed) that made it plain as the nose on your face that the author knew zilch about the oil business. We're closing out the week with a post by another WiseGEEKian, Larry Ray Palmer, who knows pretty much the same about "What is a Formation Evaluation?" (now, for some unknown reason, at AboutMechanics.com).

Friday, March 30, 2018

Ignition Systems for Mechanical Dummies

components ignition system
basic components of an ignition system
We know for a fact that the drones who write (wrote?) for eHow.com could only change the wording of a "title" in the case of an egregious spelling error; we don't know if the same is (was?) true at WiseGEEK.com. Given the utter inanity of the title addressed by today's DotD, however, it looks like that same rule applies/applied. After all, the supposed question, "How do I Replace an Ignition?" (now at niche site WikiMotors.com) doesn't make any sense – although neither does Lori Kilchermann running with the title.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Miter Gauges for Woodworking Dummies (WiseGeek Week 5)

Incra Miter Gauge
The staff carpenter likes his Incra Miter Gauge
When it comes to writing about tools, we're of the firm opinion here at the Antisocial Network that freelancers should stay away from attempting to describe any tools they haven't used. This opinion, for whatever it's worth, holds for both hand and power tools, and both kitchen and shop tools. Heck: it holds for any tools! Sadly, WiseGeek.com's Alexis W.¹ did not follow our advice, which is why she visited the crapalicious "What is a Miter Gauge?" on the internet (at AboutMechanics.com. if anyone cares – we don't).

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Carbonatite for the Dummy Geology Student (WiseGeek Week 4)

carbonatite sample
Considering how often people seem to make fun of geology and geologists (think Bert on "Big Bang Theory," or the introductory course everyone calls "Rocks for Jocks"), you might think that it's so simple even a child knows everything about it. You would, of course, be wrong: it's really not that simple... even if some "creative writing" graduate like Andrew Kirmayer thinks it is! Want proof? You need look no further than Kirmayer's WiseGeek.com post titled "What is Carbonatite?" (now at niche site AllThingsNature.com).

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Torsional Stiffness for Dummies (WiseGEEK Week 3)

The torsional stiffness of a rectangular frame
The torsional stiffness of a rectangular frame
Another day of WiseGeek Week, another freelancer babbling through his (her?) chapeau. Much like yesterday's liberal arts major mangling the concept of thermal conductivity, today's DotD candidate also tackled a physical parameter. Please give a warm welcome to WiseGEEK.com's Bobby R. Goldsmith, who gave the world an answer to "What is Torsional Stiffness?" (now languishing at AboutMechanics.com). We just wish it had been the right answer...

Monday, March 26, 2018

Thermal Conduction for the Dummy Physics Student

thermal conduction
Thermal conduction
Most content farms – the ones that claimed to have "standards" instead of letting any self-described freelancer publish anything – seem to prefer contributors with English and journalism (aka "communications") degrees. This preference, unfortunately, tends to mean that STEM topics get short shrift. WiseGEEK.com apparently subscribes to this preference, at least in the case of M. R. Anglin and her AlltheScience.com post, "What is Thermal Conduction?"

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Barium Sulfate for Dummy X-Ray Techs (WiseGeek Week 1)

Human intestinal tract imaged with barium contrast medium (X-ray)
Human intestinal tract imaged
with barium contrast medium
It's been a while since we cast the Antisocial Network spotlight on a single site, but ever since we identified our first DotD from WiseGeek.com a couple of months ago, the staffers have been compiling a backlog of other candidates from the site. With forty or fifty possible candidates already in the files, we decided now was the time. Without further ado, then, we give you the first WiseGeek week winner, Felicia Dye, and her article "What is Barium Sulfate?" (now at the niche site AlltheScience.com, a misnomer if there ever was one.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

White as Snow for the Optics Dummy

diffuse reflection ice crystals in snow
diffuse reflection ice crystals in snow
A surprising number of people seem to think that they don't comprehend technical stuff because they just "aren't wired that way." We think that's bullbleep: they's just as capable of understanding chemistry as they are renaissance art, they just like art more and so they've directed themselves at it. Or, in the case of the American female, been pointed toward it. Enough of that: we're here to talk about freelance dumbassery. The reason we got sidetracked, though, is that today's DotD candidate, M. Dee Dubroff (aka Marjorie Dorfman), clearly pointed herself toward things artistic; which means when she tried to explain optics in "Why Is Snow White" at Catalogs.com (now credited to "Catalogs Editorial Staff), she ended up in trouble.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Homemade Photocells, the Dummy Method

homemade copper oxide photocell
homemade copper oxide photocell
Every once in a while the Antisocial Network staffers run across topics that catch their interest. Once in a while, the freelancer who tackled the question a) understood the topic, B) performed some careful research, and C) presented the information in a manner that demonstrated both A and B. On the other hand, we have freelancers like Martin Adamovic, who didn't hit any of the three marks in the eHow.com article she penned, "How to Make a Photo Cell" [sic], now at OurPastimes.com.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Contours for the Dummy Topographic Map Reader

elevation on topographic map
D and K are easy, Dave, but what's the elevation of A?
It's been a while since we harped on how cartographically illiterate the average person seems to be. Yeah, sure, we understand that a version of a Barbie doll once said, "Math class is hard!" but did any doll ever say, "Maps are hard"? What is it about maps that seems to turn off the brains of otherwise average freelancers? We assumed that a "former reconnaissance marine" would have a better than average understanding of "How to Determine Elevation from a Contour Map," but the David Chandler post at GoneOutdoors.com just plain disappointed us...

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Isotopes for Chemistry Dummies

hydrogen isotopes
The three isotopes of hydrogen
Readers might be surprised – then again, they might not – at the number of times our research staffers run across complete and utter bull while wandering cyberspace in search of DotD candidates. The sad fact is that there are so many of them out there, it's hard to keep track of the most idiotic rubbish we've run across... but a few months ago, we happened on a Sciencing.com post that we thought deserved the Dumbass of the Year post. Well, that same author is back again: witness Ezmeralda Lee and her phractured fysics in "Who Discovered the Isotope?" Trust us: your notion of nuclear chemistry will be changed forever.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Lime Buildup for Dummies

pipe scale
pipe scale
When it comes to posts about DIY projects, we've noticed that many of the freelancers seem to be doing little more than rewording a post written by someone who they've decided knows what he or she is talking about. The better ones use two or three sources and – if they're really good – seamlessly combine the text. At the other end of the spectrum, however, are the freelancers like eHow.com's Tucker Cummings, who wasn't even well-versed enough in "How to Clean Calcium Build Up [sic] in Water Pipes" (a Hunker.com presentation) to find a reference that wasn't utter bull to begin with.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Hours for the Dummy Worker

time and work
time and work
One of the items on the checklist our staffers use for nominating DotD candidates is something we call "failure of logic." That's a failing that most often seems to come from a lack of real-world experience, which may be why we often see that box ticked for freelancers who are still fumbling their way through college liberal arts degrees. Some, however, should know better, like eHowian Matt McGew, who claimed close to two decades of  journalism experience when he penned "How to Calculate How Many Hours You Have Worked" for BizFluent.com.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Cliff Formation for Dummies

cliff and bench differential erosion
Cliff and bench differential erosion
One of our staffers claims a partner who is "The world's oldest fifth-grader." No, she isn't still in elementary school: the affectionate nickname refers to her love of learning elementary facts about everything that fascinates kids when they're about ten years old. With that description in mind, we took a look at "How Cliffs Are Formed," a Gregory Hamel post at Sciencing.com.¹ We figured that a "question" like that pretty much deserved an answer at the fifth-grade level...

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Circuit Breakers for Dummy Homeowners

circuit breaker box
circuit breaker box
When it comes to freelance writers pumping out so-called information in their never-ending search for pennies of residual income, some subjects are more likely to raise the collective ire of our staff than others. When one demonstrates ignorance of cosmetology or reality TV, that's (marginally) more acceptable than when one displays profound ignorance of something that might be dangerous – like moray eels or failing brakes... or like "Addressing Tripped Circuit Breakers,"¹ which is why Elizabeth McGrath and her article at TheSpruce.com caught our eye...

Friday, March 16, 2018

Square-Head Bolts for Dummy Mechanics

square head bolt
Square-head bolt
If you took a poll of the staffers here at the Antisocial Network, you would probably learn that the freelancers for which our team members reserve the most scorn are those with "journalism" degrees. We aren't certain when the degree's name changed to "communications," but they're just as bad. Apparently these people are taught that they can appear to be experts on anything, even when they know jack about the topic. Well, they can't – and Lori Kilchermann of WiseGeek.com proves that point with the AboutMechanics.com post, "What are Square Head Bolts?"

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Crown Molding Separation for Dummies

caulking molding gaps silicone
Closing molding gaps with silicone caulk
In a recent staff meeting at Antisocial Network world HQ, one of the staffers was telling us about a type of DotD nominee she'd been seeing a lot lately. The articles and posts seemed as though the freelancer in question had started off with a bang, and then their efforts had just petered out into random factoids connected by the written equivalent of mumbling – because, she hypothesized, the writers had wandered too deep in the weeds for their background. Today's nominee is one such writer, Hunker.com contributor Lauren Miller, and her post, "What Causes Crown Molding to Separate from Walls?"

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

A Layered Earth for Dummies

crust lithosphere mantle asthenosphere
crust, lithosphere, mantle, and asthenosphere
For whatever reason, the official search-engine optimization (SEO) guru at Demand Media Studios¹ insisted that the optimal content size be 300 to 500 words. While some questions (the meat and potatoes of the flagship DMS site, eHow.com) could be reasonably answered in such a space, others could not. Today's DotD goes to an eHow.com contributor, Jean Asta, who we caught introducing dumbassery to pad the simple answer to the question, "What Is the Difference Between the Crust & the Lithosphere?"; which now appears at Sciencing.com. Ick: we hate that name...

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Folding Bicycles for Dummy Commuters

fold-up bicycle
fold-up bicycle
Remember those essays your English teachers used to assign, the ones called "compare and contrast"? The whole idea of doing that exercise was to get you to tell how two things are similar and how they are different. Today's freelance DotD picked an assignment sort of like that at eHow.com (Leaf Group has moved it from LiveStrong.com to SportsRec.com for some reason), but Michelle Wishhart had a problem when it came to describing the "Disadvantages of a Fold-up Bicycle"¹: she had no idea what she was talking about...

Monday, March 12, 2018

Miter Joints, the Dummy Version

compound miter
This is a compound miter, Parker
We have to be honest: slogging through the bull barfed up by self-appointed freelance "experts on everything" (a status apparently conferred along with a BA in "communications") gets old after a couple of years. Sometimes it seems as though we're just running on autopilot, paging through post after post of old eHow.com rubbish... so that's when we take a "vacation" at another site. Another site such as, say, WiseGEEK niche site AboutMechanics.com, where we happened upon an article titled "What Is a Miter Joint?" by one Parker Brown; a fellow who, it appears, has an unusual obsession...

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Attaching Laminate Countertops for Dummies

laminate counter screws
You screw it from underneath, Robin!
If asked to list "dead giveaways" that a freelancer is way outside his or her comfort zone, our staffers might point out that people writing to topics about which they know nothing often get confused trying to juggle multiple sources. The smarter ones know to just reword one article and give multiple, fake references, but the dumb ones? Nah... We caught today's DotD nominee, eHowian Robin Hewitt, fumbling about in the text of her HomeSteady.com article, "How to Attach Laminate Countertops."¹

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Pyrometers for the Dummy Researcher

pyrometer
Infrared pyrometer
We admit it: sometimes our staffers get lazy and, instead of a hardcore search for internet dumbassery, they just google the name(s) of self-appointed freelance "journalists" we already know have sacrificed accuracy in the name of cash in their pockets. This happens a lot on weekends... like today, when we just looked for more stupidity in the back catalog of eHowian Mark Fitzpatrick. Here's our introduction to Fitz's sixth DotD, a Sciencing.com post called "Types of Pyrometers."

Friday, March 9, 2018

Joists for the Dummy Builder

joist vs rafter
Joists vs. rafters
We often wonder where our DotD nominees come up with their topics. We know that at eHow.com, members selected from "titles" that had been scraped from internet searches; hard-core freelancers at sites like InfoBarrel and WritEdge have long used SEO apps to (supposedly) inform them of hot topics. As for WiseGEEK.com, we have no idea – all we know is that some of their writers' reach exceeds their grasp of their topics. Topics like "What is a Joist?" as attacked by B. Turner for the AboutMechanics.com niche site (with editing by W. Everett).

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Electric Drills for the Total Dummy

power drill cordless keyless chuck
Cordless power drill
Just about nothing frosts the Antisocial Network staffers' collective hiney like a freelancer who cobbles together information from a couple of sources, rewords it, and claims it as his or her own. Doing so is especially irritating when the subject is something about which the freelancer knows little or nothing, but holds himself out as some sort of "expert." We've already caught InfoBarrel.com's 44tracyann44 pretending she knows something about drop ceilings and jig saws. Let's see how big a dummy she is when the topic is "Portable Electric Drill Facts and Safety Tips."¹

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Making a Katana, the Dummies Version

katana handle (tsuba)
Those don't look like 2½" cherry dowels, Danny...
We really have to hand it to some of the self-appointed freelancers out there; especially the people who attempt to write how-tos about something they've never done themselves. Heck, the most... interesting? annoying? irritating? of them all are the ones who have no earthly idea what they're talking about, but forge bravely ahead anyway. We're walking about people like eHow's Danny Donahue, who claimed to have "worked with some of the finest construction talent" somewhere, but failed to ask them for advice about "How to Make a Katana Handle¹" for Healthfully.com.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Bed Posts for Dummies

bed frame
These legs ain't 4-by-4s, Erin
We often say that sometimes our DotD candidate's qualifications are subtle, requiring that our research team carefully pore over the content to recognize errors someone with no experience might not spot. Other candidates, however, more or less slap you in the face with a sort of bold and brassy dumbassery that's readily apparent right from the first paragraph. In the case of Erin Ringwald and her HomeSteady.com post, "How to Make a Bed's Legs," our staffer only needed to read the first phrase to realize that Ringwald was writing from cloud-cuckoo land!

Monday, March 5, 2018

Fossil Shell Identification for Dummies

brachiopod pelecypod clam symmetry
Symmetry of brachiopods compared to pelycepods (clams)
Somewhere in some introductory journalism class, wannabe "communications" students are apparently taught that, if you know nothing about a topic, you can CYA by throwing all manner of disconnected factoids on the page and walking away. That probably isn't really the case – we certainly hope educators are less laissez faire about the topic – but based on some of the output of people who've taken that career path, it sure looks like some of them got that advice! Today's DotD nominee falls squarely in that category: she's eHowian Karen S. Garvin, whose "How to Identify Shell Fossils"¹ at Sciencing.com tripped a staffer's bullcrap detector.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Making Lacrosse Sticks for Dummies

lacrosse stick head
Where's that 45° angle, Owen?
Some of our staffers have driven a Buick Lacrosse, and one or two have even been to LaCrosse, Wisconsin – but the ugly truth is that no one in the building has ever played lacrosse. Several have seen lacrosse played and even found the occasional lacrosse ball rolling around in the street by a park, but played it? Nope. Based on the article "How to Make a Wooden Lacrosse Shaft"¹ he wrote for Healthfully.com, we're pretty certain that Owen E. Richason IV has never tossed a ball around, either...

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Gamma Ray Logs for the Clueless

gamma ray log
Sample gamma ray log
When we happened not long ago upon some dumbassery at WiseGEEK.com about petroleum exploration, we tasked our house geologist – who has many years of experience in the “awl bidness” – to take a look through some of their related content. We based that on the assumption that, as often happened at Demand Media, freelancers would write several related articles because their research made them experts. She turned up several articles, including “What Is Gamma Ray Logging,” by B. Turner (now, for unknown reasons, at AboutMechanics.com).

Friday, March 2, 2018

Missing Angles for Dummies

irregular polygon angles
Internal angles, irregular polygon
For a time, a few years back, a certain demographic seemed to be obsessed with angels. For the record, by the way, no one here at the Antisocial Network was in that group... or admits to it, that is. Anyway, when we ran across the title of today's DotD nominee, we get the distinct impression that freelancer and fashion blogger Aksana Nikolai thought that someone was looking for a winged celestial being when she (probably not he) asked "How to Find a Missing Angle." Imagine her surprise when she googled the phrase and learned it has something to do with geometry...

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Secure Pen Drives, the Dummies Version

Secure Flash Drive
A couple of our staff (regardless of what "A Way With Words" might pretend, that means "two")  are amateur linguists. Both, as you might guess from the slight snark above, lean more to the prescriptivist than the descriptivist end of the linguistic spectrum. It will come as no surprise, then to find that one of them greenlighted returning DotD Colby Stream and his half-wit Techwalla..com answer to the question, "What is a PIN Drive?"