Fake Reviews for Dummies, Revisited

Anyone who read an Amazon book review in the first decade of the 21st century is familiar with the late Harriett Klausner, the site's number one reviewer during that time. Harriett, who seemed to have mad speed-reading skillz, often pounded out twenty or thirty book reviews per day, although almost all bore a striking resemblance to the jacket blurb. Well, Harriett isn't the only "reviewer" out there faking it: the practice is disturbingly (some might say "disgustingly") widespread. Some of the content is so obvious that even the most brain-dead among us can spot it. Want an example? We're glad to oblige, courtesy of ThePen at seekyt.com, who wrote "Product Review: Canon 4624A002 Is All Weather Binoculars." This particular morsel of freelancer dumbassery is not only fake, it's also spun from somewhere else. Know how we can tell? Just read the first paragraph:

"Binoculars can be defined as a pair of professional telescopes which are mounted together in using unique knowledge and skills, they should be pointing is a similar direction. Binoculars assist people in viewing objects that are far away in detailed form. This is because of the ability of the telescopes to magnify the distant objects and make them appear as being much closer than the actual distance. They vary widely, from the small handheld ones which are suited for the travelers to the mounted ones which are adjusted to bring clear view of distant object. They give a depth of impression in that they allow the user to view the same object from different eye points."

There are many clues that it's spun in there, such as, "...they should be pointing in a similar direction" and give a "depth of impression," whatever that is (we think it's really "depth of field," but who knows?). We mean, who would ever actually talk like that? And then we find out why ThePen is sharing this "knowledge": ThePen, whose amazon tag is healthinfo07, includes not one but two links to "The River" in hopes of harvesting 4% of the sales price of these binoculars; which sell for something in the neighborhood of $1,700 a pair. We also like some of the "information" spun from the manufacturer's online content, which imparts such juicy morsels of spinnage as

"Despite the frequent handshakes you will be able to get detailed view of objects because of the built-in Image Stabilizer, they will be always in order despite getting exposed to the extreme weather conditions because of the All-Weather design."

Want a dead giveaway that it's spun by a dumbass? Take another look at that title: "Canon 4624A002 Is All Weather Binoculars." Did you wonder about the verb "is"? Well, we did, at least until we realized that ThePen fat-fingered the model number of the binocs: it's 4624A002 IS; where "IS" stands for "image stabilized."

Spun crap, fake review - a double dose of dumbassery. One award to ThePen and one award to Seekyt: both of them are full of crap, either one could easily be our Dumbass of the Day.

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