Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Linear Feet for Dummies (Yet Again!) - The Freelance Files MCCXXXIXI

linear foot of carpet
If the truth be told, we've lost count of how many times we've featured eHow contributors who seem confused by the concept of linear measure (it's at least five). No matter how many times we try to tell these bozos that "linear feet" (or yards or meters) are generally dependent on the width of the product, they seem to almost always think that some halfwit wants to know some sort of converstion factor. Guess who's the halfwit, though, in the Stephen Lilley article "How to Calculate Linear Feet With Dimensions" (it's at, if anyone cares).

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Excel Macros for Dummies - The Freelance Files MCCXL

recording an Excel macro
From time to time our research team members run across posts that are so transparently bogus that they don't even rate a second glance. Take, for instance – and by "take," we mean "take to the trash" – eHow's Stephanie Ellen (sometimes known as S. Deviant) and her post, "How to Automate an Excel Spreadsheet." This post, now at Techwalla,com, is so... so we don't know what! that it should have been published at a website that doesn't have "editors¹"!

Monday, June 18, 2018

Republican Politics for Dummies - The Freelance Files MCCXXXIX

Ivanka Trump for vice president
While we don't say so very often, most of the staffers at the Antisocial Network are convinced that, if you want to hear something really stupid, you should ask people political questions. That probably goes double for asking people about the politics of a different country: most Americans don't comprehend the parliamentary system of government, how do they think the Canadian PM is elected? Today's DotD falls under that category: he's a Pakistani who calls himself Emge, and he offered up this cogent political analysis at "Ivanka Trump as running mate?"

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Crystals for Dummies - The Freelance Files MCCXXXVIII

crystal lattice
We'll be honest: we don't know if the intersection of scientists and (erotic) romance authors is very large. We can say, however, that we know of one such author who definitely doesn't also live in the universe of scientists: she's eHowian Regina Paul, and her "area of inexpertise" today is mineralogy. Yep, Paul attempted to explain "What are Crystals Made Of" for and, let's just say, she didn't do a particularly good job...

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Soil Erosion for Dummies - The Freelance Files MCCXXXVII

contour plowing planting to reduce soil erosion
Here at the Antisocial Network, we've long since given up on expecting freelancing J-school¹ graduates to show any honesty at all about what they do and do not know, at least when it comes to the eHow family of sites. It seems that they assume that their "superior" research skills allow them to address any topic succinctly. Well, no, that's not true; as is proven by J-school grad Lee Morgan. We found Lee at, where he tried to explain "Five Factors that Affect Soil Erosion."

Friday, June 15, 2018

Calculating Lift, the Dummy Version - The Freelance Files MCXXXVI

lift calculation
Our research team members all figured out long ago that it's easy to identify freelancers writing well outside the fields in which they've been trained. Let's say, for instance, someone has an education degree (from a diploma mill, no less) and tries to explain a fairly complex problem in aeronautical engineering. It'll be tough to get it right if you don't understand it in the first place, right? Well, that's exactly what happened when's Melanie Fleury tried to tell her readers "How to Calculate Wing Lift."

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Bush Hogs for Dummies - The Freelance Files MCCXXXV

six-foot Bush Hog mower on PTO
Perhaps the greatest weakness of Demand Media's eHow model was that the founders fervently believed that any writer could address any topic with a little research. Well, maybe they knew that was utter bull, but didn't care because their way could make them boatloads of bucks. Whatever the reason, however, the website was infamous for the failure of its writers to connect to reality. That's what happened when Glenda Taylor (also known as Glyn Sheridan) tried to explain "How Does a Tractor Work With a Bush Hog?"; now available at