Remodeling for the Dummy Homeowner

Remodel this kitchen!

Most content farms... err, write-for-pay sites require their contributors to establish some form of credibility through an author biography or profile. Read a few of them and you would think that the sites get the cream of the crop. Take, for instance, Seekyt.com's Kea Jones, who claims to be a "New York based columnist who likes to write about various buzz and current affairs in the business world" [we see the grammatical error, do you?]. All of which makes us wonder, first, why Kea is writing about Colorado Springs, Colorado, and second, why she's writing about remodeling in today's example of the stupidification of the internet, "Top 5 Home Remodeling Ideas."

Heck, you can pull up a list of the top N remodeling ideas on darned near any realtor's or construction company's website, so what makes Kea's so special? Let's look at her list of ways...

"...to capitalize on your home renovation buck, consider these 5 best home improvement ideas:  Indoor System Outdoor Replacement Project Attic Bedroom Addition of Deck Kitchen Improvement"  Over here  at the Antisocial Network where we've bought and sold several houses (and done some remodeling work), we like that advice, at least until we read details such as "Before you consider functional and even cosmetic improvements (like adding extra square footage) to your home, make all the desired upgrades, replacements or repairs to the home’s main systems."

Our sensitive and experienced noses smell spun content in awkward wording such as "functional and even cosmetic." Odd that a self-described professional writer would plagiarize... And then there's

"Now, the number one house improvement project as much as recouping returns on your investments are addition of attic bedroom."

Wow, now that's a mouthful - as spun as cotton candy. Kea has more badly-spun content, such as this on the topic of decks:

"Everything is dependent on its size, as well as how many whistles and bells you wish to get added, like multiple stairs, built-in seating, built-in flower pot, and size of deck."

Cool: we especially liked the reversal of "bells and whistles" and the way she both begins and ends the sentence with reference to size. After all, a million spam emails inform us that size matters to women... However, for our staff, the pièce de résistance is Ms Jones' advice on kitchens: 

"The vinyl flooring makes the kitchen look up to date, so reflect on replacing it with tiles or laminates"

So, we wondered, if vinyl flooring makes your kitchen look up-to-date (it doesn't, by the way), why "reflect on replacing it"?  We're pretty sure that "Kea Jones" isn't this person's real name, nor are the images of a pretty blonde on "her" various author bios around the web really her (Epinions veterans may wish to remember Lily, aka inthelilypond). But whether this person is a fake or not, she (or more likely he) is most definitely a dumbass - a Dumbass of the Day, to be precise.

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DD - REMODELING