Monday, June 15, 2015

Draining Swimming Pools for Dummies

Ahhh, eHow, how do you fail us? Let us count the ways... there are too many to count, if you must know. One, however, is to fail to actually answer the question, the way eHow.com freelancer Megan Smith did in the post "How Long Does it Take to Drain a Pool?" at HomeSteady.com.

As far as we know, a normal person would answer this by saying that you can estimate the necessary time by dividing the volume of the pool in gallons by the pump's capacity in gallons per minute. Further, if you don't know the volume of your pool, it's length x width x average depth x 7.5, the approximate number of gallons per cubic foot. This ain't rocket science... 

...unless maybe you're an innumerate eHow freelancer, that is. Megan's answer?
  1. Make Sure It's Safe to Drain Your Pool
  2. Pool Draining
  3. Pool Aftercare
Typical of eHow's stable of journalism majors, the closest Ms. Smith gets to actually answering the question is the statement, "If you know how many gallons your pool holds, you can calculate how long it will take to drain your pool using this formula..." Do note, however the dumbass doesn't actually include the formula she mentions.

She also tells us "Connect the sump pump to a hose and connect the hose to your clean-out port." We immediately wondered why 1) you're using a sump pump instead of a utility pump and 2) why you'd connect the pump to the cleanout port (whatever that is) and not simply submerge it in the water... How does one connect a hose to your cleanout port, anyway?

Oh, well, Megan managed to meet eHow's word-count specification and picked up her fifteen bucks for very little work - and even less useful information. A classic Dumbass of the Day...
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