Plumbing for Dummies (Again)

Working with PVC pipe

The punchline of an old joke has a plumber saying, "Yeah, I only made $150 per hour when I was a lawyer, too!" The hourly rate for plumbers explains why many DIYers performs, or at least try to perform, their own plumbing repairs. When installing a garbage disposal can cost $225, it makes sense for a confident (not to mention competent) tool-user to take on the task him- or her-self. On the other hand, there's the likes of Sharon Vile, who  once called herself blueheron at HubPages.com. Sharon thinks plumbing is a "ladies' craft project": she said that herself in her dengarden.com post, "How to Install an Outdoor Spigot for Watering Your Garden."

There are lots of reasons you shouldn't take the advice of a stranger on the internet when you're attempting a DIY project. For one, you should generally steer clear of anyone who claims something is "easy," or as Sharon gushes, "is as easy as playing with Tinker Toys..." Let's not get into that, however, let's just look at some of the dumbassery inherent  in Sharon's project:

"NO CUT MAY BE MADE TO THE WATER LINE AT ANY POINT BETWEEN THE CURB/METER AND YOUR HOUSE’S MAIN SHUT-OFF [SHOUTING Sharon's]. If you are splicing in the new line (and hence, cutting an existing line) anywhere near the main shut-off be sure you do it above the main shut-off"

Ahem: a real plumber would know that you can splice into the line anywhere after the meter, since the meter contains a shutoff. Or perhaps you quail when reading this scary "advice":

"Since, in most cases, water lines run under the floor, the biggest aggravation to putting in a new outdoor spigot is drilling a couple of ¾” holes in the floor. I am suggesting placing the spigot just above floor level, running a new cold-water line under the floor, and splicing the new cold-water line to the spigot into an existing cold-water line. Preferably, this splice or attachment to an existing cold-water line would be made at the kitchen or bathroom sink, next to the water heater, or next to the washing machine, since cold-water lines emerge above the floor at these places."

First, why would we need "a couple of" holes in the floor? and second, wouldn't we have to drill a hole in the wall? We are also dismayed by the suggestion that "A few inches of plumbing line will be visible inside the house..." We suspect that will play holy hell with the resale value of your house, as would burst water lines caused by freezing – a real likelihood if anyone follows such directions. Then again, this is the same "authority" who suggests just "moving your water lines indoors" to prevent freezing. Yeah, sure.

For her over-engineered and yet strangely incomplete instructions, we hereby award blueheron the Dumbass of the Day. We somehow suspect she'll find a way to use it in a "ladies' craft project."

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