Remodeling with Granite Countertops for Dummies

Granite countertop

Here at the Antisocial Network, it's long been our contributors' greatest wish for mankind; except, perhaps, for peace on Earth; that ignorant freelancers would stop writing internet content. Things have improved in the past few years; thanks mostly to Google Panda, which put the screws to some of the worst of the content farms (we remember, not so fondly, sites like Helium, AssociatedContent, and Lunch...). There are, however, still sites loaded with crapola out there, sites such as Seekyt.com. That's where today's garbage content can be found. The author, and we use the term loosely, of "How to Remodel Your Kitchen Counter Tops with Granite" is one of those morons who thinks she's a "web designer." Ptui! on Adrianne Winters (webdesignsbyapw) and all her ilk...

Why does Adrianne raise the temperature around our offices? Well, it's because she publishes crap like this:

"This is why many prefer to model their kitchen counter tops with stone material like granite as they are very sturdy and can be cleaned easily."

"Model" their countertops? Is that backformed from "remodel," perhaps meaning to use granite the first time around? Sheesh. But that's just the tip of Adrianne's iceberg of idiocy. We especially like senseless bullshit like 

"Attaching the granite seams

Once the slabs have been placed, it is time to join the seams of the slabs lying side by side. For joining the seams you can use epoxy which can be bought from Amazon. Next, you need to tighten the screws. Thereafter, as a safety measure, apply a line of acrylic caulk along the area where the granite is in contact with the base cabinet. "

For those of you who've never seen granite countertops (which, our staff geologist interjects crossly, are not necessarily "granite"), the stone slabs aren't placed directly on the cabinet tops. Instead, the slabs of natural stone are placed on a backing of 3/4-inch plywood: that's because the stone doesn't have sufficient internal strength to support its own weight without cracking. Winters doesn't mention this fact, the dumbass, probably because she skipped that step during her cut-copy-paste extravaganza. We also like her instructions to "tighten the screws" (apparently she didn't figure out that those screws are used to level the slabs) and then caulk the joint as a -- get this crap -- "safety measure." No, Adrianne, you glue the granite in place, not "caulk" it for "safety."

There are loads of articles out there on the internet that were written by people who know a granite countertop from a hole in the ground, but Adrianne Winters isn't one of those people. She is, however, a classic example of someone cluttering up the internet with freelance bull-puckey just to make a few pennies. Around the Antisocial Network, we have a name for people like that: we call them the Dumbass of the Day.

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