Lineal Metres for the Clueless

Stretching carpet

In the real world, as opposed to the strange construct inhabited by so many self-appointed freelancers, questions are (usually) asked for a reason. A good answer to that question will take that reason into account. A bad answer to that question may be right, but so disconnected from reality as to be confusing. You don't get it? Let Chance E. Gartneer (someone's been using the internet anagrammer!) of eHow.com give you a bad answer in his post "How to Convert Square Metres to Lineal Metres"¹ at Sciencing.com. 

Upon reading Gartneer's post, we were immediately reminded of the old joke about a helicopter lost in the fog near Seattle. The joke's punchline is, "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer." Ditto Chance's answer in his post, which he introduced by saying,

"Square meters and lineal meters measure two different properties with two different dimensions."

In fact, that particular sentence isn't even technically correct, since square meters and lineal meters don't have "two different dimensions"; they have different units.  But that's not our point: where "Gartneer" misses the boat (besides that misstatement) is that he hasn't researched the question: WHY would someone want to convert square meters to lineal meters (or metres, take your pick)? The answer is pretty damned simple: they're measuring a room to buy wall-to-wall carpet! But Chance apparently didn't know that... That's where his example went wrong: Chance's instructions are to Calculate the area in m² Measure one side Divide the area by the length of that side

In reality, you would divide the area by the width of the carpet, floor covering, or other product sold in lineal meters - not by the length of one of the sides! According to this carpet company headquartered in New Zealand, carpet comes in widths like 3.66 meters, not in a perfect match to one dimension of your room. 


But Chance didn't bother to ask himself the "why" question, and we think that makes him a perfect candidate for the Dumbass of the Day.

¹ The original has been rewritten for Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_8689794_convert-square-metres-lineal-metres.html

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