Foundation Repairs for Dummies

Cracked brick wall

Recently we've been seeing way more television advertisements for foundation repair than we think necessary (one company, to be precise); but we suppose that any homeowner who has foundation problems would be happy to to find a company to help him. We imagine that there's useful information available on the internet to a homeowner in need, but we certainly hope that anyone whose foundation is decrepitating will take a pass on the advice (and we use that term extremely loosely) that Seekyt.com author (ditto that "extremely loosely") lucy_hale posted in "Rebuilding Your Home's Foundation." An aside here: we're pretty certain that the author of this rubbish is not the singer whose name he or she appropriated, probably in hopes of garnering more hits...

We're pretty sure that the person pretending to be "Lucy" knows jack about houses, foundations or repair, as evidenced by her cogent opening paragraph (which is also pretty strong evidence that the content is spun by a non-English speaker):

"When one thinks of a home foundation, it feels that its only function is to hold up the house over ground; a homes foundation has more useful functions..." ...which pretty much sets the tone for the remainder of the piece. Readers are treated to other scintillating information such as "You must also take into account the attention to detail of the project with perfection, as the base must be properly place with the formwork [sic] being built correctly, and in perfect detail..." ...a snippet of "Hale's" prose to which we can only add, "Wha...?" and then there's this fascinating bit of information from the alleged Lucy about why a foundation might fail:

"Backfill. Loading the soil around the property with hot water, such as sponge, which is organic, or even with clay can lead to risking the foundation to have cracks when freezing and expansion gets to the soil."

Ummm.... yeah... did we just see Hale make a reference to Spongebob Squarepants in there? Not to mention this marvelous construction about potential problems -- which, we suspect, is a reference to the actual construction of a foundation, not its repair, though frankly it's awfully hard to tell:

"Rushing the solution. It is vital to be patient when it comes to fixing the problem, especially for concrete, which is meant to be fix in a slow manner, so it can reach its potential. Keeping it moist for about 3 to 5 days, while it is wrapped on plastic is important for a good fix."

...which, when translated from Seekyt-speak, is actually reasonably good information. We could go on. In fact, we could reproduce the entire boatload of garbage, but we figure this is enough to let our readers know just why they should never bother with anything published at Seekyt, not to mention why we've awarded this ersatz lucy_hale the Dumbass of the Day.

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