Saturday, January 9, 2016

Conspiracies for the Dummy Fundamentalist

European Bronze Age civilizations
Dumbassery takes many forms. Some of the recipients of the Antisocial Network's Dumbass of the Day award are incautious in their "research" and some are simply ignorant of the topic. The worst of all, in our unbiased opinion, are those who are willfully ignorant – the ones who believe in conspiracies to "hide truth from the common man" and other bafflingly stupid ideas. Some listen to too many episodes of InfoWars, some are too deeply embedded in their political echo chambers. Some even claim that they're "open-minded" and "well-educated"; people like Vince Summers, spotted blathering about conspiracy theories in an article at PersonaPaper.com he called "Are Scientists Quick to Cover Their Tracks?"  

Now we'll be perfectly honest: we had a tough time figuring out what Vince was saying here. The gist is that he read an article somewhere about a mummy called Ötzi that was discovered in 1991 (Summers' post is dated 2015, for what it's worth). Vince says that the mummy dates to about 3200 BCE, which information he gleaned from Wikipedia. What Vince is crowing about is that; according to the Old Testament, Tubal-Cain, a pre-Noah's flood metalsmith, was a "forger of all implements of bronze and iron" (Vince misquotes Genesis 4:22 as "copper and iron"). Here's what Vince says about the discovery of Ötzi:
"I found one element of the discovery most fascinating -- the discovery of a copper axe. Actually, it was not the axe itself that was so interesting, but the statement that scientists had no idea such metal implements were a part of human civilization as early as the time Ötzi lived..."
Vince, of course, points out that Tubal-Cain lived... ummm, before Ötzi (we aren't sure how he determined that relationship, since the Noahic flood hasn't been carbon dated like the mummy). Be that as it may, Vince continues in the same vein:
"...today, when I decided to re-visit this topic, and I found references to their surprise diminished in number. This suggested to me that the scientists quickly were distracting the public of their previous ignorance, especially since they now claim they not only know such tools were available then, but who would be carrying them, and the significance! This smells of coverup in my mind."
   
We're having hella difficulty figuring this yutz out: is it his claim that scientists have deleted references to their surprise, which is why "references to their surprise diminished in number"? Could it be that, almost 25 years after the discovery, more information has become available? Could it be that there are fewer news stories about the mummy because, duh, other things have happened? Could it be that the archaeological community determined that this is a new marker for the beginning of "the Copper Age"?
Notwithstanding the fact that copper makes lousy striking tools – it's relatively soft – any brief survey of the archaeological literature shows that different civilizations transitioned from the Stone Age to the Bronze Age at different times. If Vince had bothered to read more in Wikipedia, he'd have figured that out. He didn't. Instead, he decided that his Biblical knowledge supersedes all scientific knowledge, making him a willful scientific illiterate. In our parlance, that makes him our Dumbass of the Day. Duh.
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