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Saturday, March 7, 2015

Redefining Greed for Dummies

light bulb
You can always tell when people on a paid writing website have nothing to say, because they say it anyway. Personally, I think it's pretty shameless to write an "informative" article about something as banal as "how to put on gloves," but that never stops some folks. By "some folks," I mean the likes of Joana Mendoza, who writes at DailyTwoCents.com.¹ Here's a classic example of having nothing to say but writing about it anyway: "Simple Tips for Replacing Broken Bulbs."
"Check if the bulb still works by turning the switch on and off. In replacing the bulb, make sure that the switch is off. If necessary, turn off the main breaker to avoid electrical shock. Replace the bulb by turning it counterclockwise, you may replace the bulb with the same kind, watts, size, and voltage. 
Install the bulb by turning clockwise. Make sure the bulb is tight enough. Turn on the breaker and switch to test if the new bulb works."
I'm speechless. What's next: "Simple tips for buttoning your coat"? "Simple tips for turning on a faucet"?


 You gotta know, this raises that eternal question: How many Dumbasses of the Day does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently, it takes more than one...

¹ This website is now defunct, but you can see the post using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was    dailytwocents.com/simple-tips-for-replacing-broken-bulbs/
copyright © 2015-2022scmrak

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4 comments:

  1. UnknownMay 7, 2015 at 11:06 AM

    LOL, scmrak, I'm glad I found/read/laughed at your blog today. Word salads were always a pet peeve of yours, and you turned your pursuit of justice into an entertaining monoblog. (That's a new word I coined).
    This bulb changing teacher did not address the potential for injury when replacing broken bulb. He/She should have begun with: "First, put on work gloves to protect hands. Open glove and place forefinger in designated digit slot, followed by rest of hand and thumb. Pull gently, but securely to ensure complete coverage of hand."
    Cheers ~ keep pointing out this incessant nonsense ~ the result is quite entertaining! ~Jennifer

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    1. Steven MrakMay 7, 2015 at 4:11 PM

      Hey, Jennifer!

      I'm always happy to 1) amuse and 2) tweak the noses of crappy writers.

      Based on your glove-donning instructions, it appears you have a future at places like Bubblews and Seekyt! Go forth and write!

      Cheers...

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  2. UnknownMay 7, 2015 at 5:12 PM

    Thanks for the suggestion... I haven't reviewed much since EPS quit, and I have much more free time. Writing for pennies isn't my bag anyway...
    I think I'll stick with cartography :)
    Love your "dumbass" theme! ~jka

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    1. Steven MrakMay 8, 2015 at 5:15 PM

      A penny saved is a penny. I have to laugh at the people who think they'll get rich off their output. Some of them are posting dozens of articles a day! There's one woman at WritEdge who gives "local" advice (the best BBQ in Denver, the best nail salons in Rochester, MN, etc.) - I find it hilarious that she can pump out such advice for dozens, even hundreds of cities, but apparently she thinks she's fooling people...

      Since I'm not working these days, I have plenty of time to find dumbasses; not that it takes much effort!

      R

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