Check Engine Lights for Dummy Drivers (HubPages Week)

OBD-II Code reader

If you've ever heard the radio show "The Car Guys," it's a safe bet you've heard one Magliozzi or the other ask the caller, "How long has the check engine light been on?" That strange light on the dashboard is probably responsible for more online research and more calls to free service advice lines than any other automotive-related question, bar none. Well, Kate Daily (a.k.a. "wolfy") over at AxleAddict.com decided to help out all those concerned car-owners with a succinct bit of advice she called "How to Get Rid of the Check Engine Light." We'll ignore for the moment that you don't actually want to "get rid of" your CEL, since it performs a valuable function; you merely want to turn it off. Here's Kate's "advice":

1. Wait
2. Turn the Ignition on and off three times
3. Disconnect and reconnect the battery
4. Use an OBD code reader

All valid processes, though Kate's cut-and-paste job is rather sloppy, since she called number 3 "the first method." Where she ran into problems was her failure to mention – probably because she didn't know – the difference between OBD and OBD-II. Wherefore art thou a dumbass, Kate?
Her failure to understand these diagnostic systems is readily apparent in the discussion of the OBD-II code reader when she said, "the device will scan your engine for any error codes" – technically speaking, the code reader scans the on-board diagnostic computer, which scans not just the engine but a wide variety of systems. 

Her worst advice was on how to use the OBD-II code reader: "remove the fuse panel underneath your vehicle dashboard and plug the OBD reader into the OBD port in the fuse box." OBD-II ports aren't in the fuse box: you could look there for days and never find it. The OBD port is to one side or the other of the steering column at the base of the dashboard – and there isn't even a port on vehicles built before (about) 1995, which are OBD-I compliant (if built after 1987). She also claims you'll have to buy a code reader, which isn't necessarily true – many auto parts stores will loan you one.  For half-assed advice written by someone who's obviously never actually done it, hubbie Kate Daily is today's Dumbass of the Day.

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DD - AUTOMOTIVE