A Kitchen Remodel for the Utter Dummy

Far be it from us to criticize people for poor writing skills in another language – unless, of course, they give bad grammar advice in that language, in which case it's fair game. On the other hand, simply running something through Google translate and posting it on a content farm is also fair game. It's a freelancer trick that doesn't seem to be all that unusual. Take, for instance the claptrap lizkemp (Liz Kemp?) posted at seekyt.com under the title "Discover Some Easy and Great Tips to Elevate Your Kitchen Perfectly."

The content is god-awful, starting with the obvious question, "WTF does 'elevating your kitchen' mean?" It looks very much as if it's (badly) translated from Russian or some other language that doesn't use articles, though that may not be the worst of its problems. Have a look at just the first paragraph:

"Your kitchen is a place you generally spend few hours there to cook food. So it is beyond doubt inseparable part of your home. You should keep it clutter-free. When you know this is the place where you spend most of the time a day to cook food for your and for your family then why not you elevate your kitchen with perfect settings? Yes this is the high time to look after the place."

Or perhaps this choice bit of senseless redundancy:

"Yes people generally do not want to see their kitchen as usual for year after years; therefore they elevate their kitchen with some perfect settings. You can elevate your kitchen with perfect settings. "

You get the general sense that lizkemp – may we call you Liz? – must be talking about kitchen remodeling, with all her repetition of "settings." The impression's borne out by some of the advice she gives later on; most likely...

"An intrinsic brightness of a celestial object on your kitchen walls and cupboards... Latest furniture like installing decorators and designers... You can install new and classy lighting chandeliers and pendent to your kitchen area... You should paint you old kitchen room with new glossy paints like stainless steel color... If you love flower you can also put a flower vase... You can provide new look to your bake house...

Whoa - now that's some great advice, especially painting "your bake house" with "stainless steel color." Whoever you really are, Liz, it's our considered opinion that you are royally deserving of the singular honor of Dumbass of the Day (in Russian, at least according to Google Translate, тупица дня).

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DD - REMODELING