Change that Light Bulb, Dummies!

What screws, Mandi?

Sooner or later, every possible stupid question gets asked on the internet. We're not talking about "How did I get Pregnant"; we're talking about questions along the line of "How do I boil water": yup, that simple. Yet some people will need that kind of help, so when they do ask, they deserve answers that not only don't insult them, they're correct... or at least helpful. That's why we were rather unimpressed by the job eHow.com's Mandi Rogier did when attempting to tell some poor schmuck "How to Change an Outdoor Wall Light Bulb" (it's now at Hunker.com). Yes: someone did ask that.

In reality, we can sort of understand: there's a huge variety of wall lights on the market, and figuring out how to get at the bulbs can be confusing in some cases. The task can also be somewhat difficult because these lights are only opened once every couple of years and they sit outside in the elements all the time, so any access parts get dirty and/or corroded. Rogier, unfortunately, is no help on getting a light fixture open. For starters, she tells her readers that they must.

"Turn off the power to the light fixture. If you are dealing with a light that is motion-activated and turns on automatically, you will need to shut the light off at the circuit breaker."

We have no idea why Mandi thinks you need to turn off the light at the circuit breaker. You merely need to turn it off at the switch. Only if the light is not controlled by a switch do you need to hunt down the correct breaker (or fuse). Already we've begun to doubt her... "expertise."

Oh, Rogier does have some reasonably good advice, such as clearing out debris and cleaning any glass in the housing while you're at it, but as for getting access to the bulb, her only advice is... "...opening the light fixture should be as simple as removing a few screws." Really? Mandi, you dummy, "opening the light fixture" is very likely the reason the OQ asked this question: except on rare occasions, it isn't "as simple as removing a few screws"! The process depends on the design of the light and the materials used to make it. Some lights have a trio of thumb screws that hold in a closed globe, but others have anywhere from three to six little knurled knobs holding the top in place. How do you find the screws? How do you get them loose when they're rusty, Mandi? Those are the real questions, the questions you didn't answer!

To top it all off, Rogier also oversimplifies replacement of the burnt-out bulb:

"Screw the new light bulb into the socket and replace the covering it [sic]. Screw the covering back into place."

Shouldn't you – oh, we don't know – match the light bulb style (and base) to the old bulb? Make certain not to exceed the allowable wattage? All that other "safety" stuff?

No, Mandi has none of that useful advice: just to clean the glass. Here we thought we'd get a helpful answer for a simple question, but that's not what we got: what we did get was half-assed advice that would probably leave the OQ just as puzzled as before he or she read it. When we see that kind of rubbish, we just have to give the author our Dumbass of the Day award.

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