Crown Molding Corners for Dummies

Crown molding on a bullnose corner

In case you hadn't noticed, the research staff here at the Antisocial Network occasionally (or in some cases, often) revisit the work of past DotD winners to see just what other idiotic things they've managed to get published to the internet (always for money, of course; never out of the goodness of their little hearts). We'll admit that sometimes they get a little lazy, and today might be one of those days. You see, we just gave out an award to eHow.com's Lacy Enderson a couple of days ago, and now she's back (for the ninth time)! But Lacy's dumbassery is just to juicy to ignore... and at least this time she's not telling people to build roof trusses with undersized lumber. No, this time, she's holding forth on "How to Install Crown Molding on Rounded Corners" over at Hunker.com, and she's doing her usual bang-up job (end sarcasm).

For those who've never installed crown molding, we're here to tell you doing so even tests the skill of an advanced finish carpenter, and beginning DIYers would be wise to either pay someone else to do the job right or use a sneaky workaround. Whatever the case, you sure  don't want to follow Enderson's instructions, not when she doesn't even understand the original question! Take a look: someone wants to know about installation "...on rounded corners" – but that's not what Lacy answers. Nope, Lacy says to "Cut a length of crown molding at a 22 1/2-inch angle. Cut another length of molding for the other side of the wall at the same angle. Cut two small pieces of molding, both about 4-inches wide, with 22 1/2-inch angles. Install these two pieces on the rounded corner of the wall where it meets the ceiling."

Now we don't know about your experience, but the radius on most rounded corners we've encountered is considerably less than an inch: how the heck would two 4-inch sections of molding close around that corner? In reality, people who know what they're talking about use a single wedge-shaped transition piece; but Lacy wouldn't know that. More to the point, crown molding is like the world's most confusing jigsaw puzzle: how do you shape these putative pieces? What's their orientation? What is the orientation of the 22° angle? Inquiring minds want to know, but Enderson ain't saying.

Lacy's complete failure to understand the question (much less the instructions she copied from a more authoritative website) is rather obvious as she prattles on about how to nail up crown molding...

"Hold the molding in place and nail through the molding, with 10-penny nails, into the marked wall studs and ceiling joists. Use a nail gun for simplicity..."

We'd probably use 10d finish nails, and a finish nailer, but what the heck! we're not getting paid for our expertise like Lacy was. But when push comes to shove, what Enderson has done here is take a simple question and give a stupid answer that is not only incorrect but completely unusable. Small wonder that Lacy's won eight Dumbass of the Day awards already, and has the potential for many, many more (about one per eHow article... and the woman published hundreds.

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