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Friday, June 24, 2016

The Dummy Guide to Flashing

Flashing around a corner
Flashing around a corner
It's the official opinion of the staff here at the Antisocial Network that internet freelancers shouldn't pretend to have the knowledge and experience to write "how-to" articles when they know jack about the topic. That, of course, never stops some of the drones who contribute eHow.com articles: their typical technique is to google it, copy what they find, reword it, and paste it. Sometimes that ignorance gets them into trouble, like the time that longtime contributor (and previous winner of the DotD) Laurie Reeves  (aka Laurie Brenner) tried to explain "How to Install Metal Flashing Around Corners."¹ We looked, though, and found that Ms. Laurie was in deep doo-doo from the very first sentence in her (DMS-required) introduction...
"After installing drywall to a new home, remodel or addition, you need to protect the outside corners from dings, bumps and scratches..."
Wait a minute: flashing? on drywall? If Reeves had taken the time to actually google the words "flashing" and "drywall" together, she might have figured out that the two words only occur together when painters are discussing variability in the sheen of the paint over drywall mud! That metal strip whose installation she discusses (in incredible detail) is... well, let's use her own words:
"...called a 'corner bead' by industry professionals..."
Well, actually, it's called a "corner bead" by everyone; with the possible exception of Ms Reeves. Hell, she doesn't even use the right word for "installing" -- everyone else calls this onerous task "hanging drywall"!
   

No, Laurie, when someone wants help in flashing around a corner, they're talking about the metal flashing used on roofs. Hell, we googled the title of Reeves' article and found more than 2000 hits, only one of which (at least on the first couple of pages) refers to drywall - and it's Laurie's. That ought to be a clue right there! Actually, you can buy preformed corner flashing at your local building-supply store, but it's not the same thing as corner bead. It's not even the same thing as drip cap!
No, no one wants to know how to install a corner bead on drywall when they ask "how to install metal flashing around corners": they're working outside on the roof, not inside on the walls. And since Reeves had no earthly idea what she was talking about, but still went on to write almost 400 words about something entirely different, it should come as no surprise that she's our Dumbass of the Day! Oh, well, she met her minimum word count...

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_12287953_install-metal-flashing-around-corners.html
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