Sonicare Toothbrushes for Dummies

Sonicare® toothbrush

When it comes to electronic gadgets, there are few problems as frustrating as devices with non-replaceable batteries that will no longer take a charge. One of our researchers knows that pretty well, since his Philips Sonicare toothbrush quit working a few days ago and started making weird buzzes and beeps in the charger. Since the owner's manual was long gone (the brush was perhaps two months out of warranty), he decided to research online. Wouldn't you know it, he found all the advice he needed from eHow.com's Si Kingston in a little article called "How to Fix Your Sonicare Toothbrush if It Won't Charge" – not that Si's advice was any good, of course... And why it's now at OurEverydayLife.com"? That's just plain mysterious!

Oh, of course Kingston got the basics right:

"The Sonicare, manufactured by Philips, is an electric toothbrush that runs on a rechargeable battery. The battery uses a charger that plugs into a standard power outlet..."

...all of which is information on the level of "duh" that just about anyone who owns the toothbrush already knows. Next, she informed her readers that

"If the Sonicare toothbrush will not recharge, the problem is fixable as long as the battery or circuit board is not the issue. The rechargeable battery and circuit board can't be replaced."

Frankly, those 32 words comprise all the information someone in this position will need. But Si was duty bound (by DMS) to write 300 to 500 words, so on she went -- ending up with 297 words plus lots of (useless) pictures. Si's suggestions?

1. Make certain the charger is plugged in.
2. Try a different outlet, maybe the first one was "broken."
3. "Wipe the surface of the charger with a damp cloth to clean it." And try again

Of course, steps one and two are an insult to the intelligence of the average ten-year-old. And the third "solution"? Apparently Kingston doesn't know that the Sonicare brush charges by induction, so cleaning the base (or the brush) won't do jack unless there's so much gunk built up on one that the brush won't slide on any more. Nope, the answer is simply, "Toss it and fork over $80-100 for a new handle."

No, instead of coming right out and saying that a brush that won't take a charge is useless (apparently the automatic out-of-warranty self-destruct circuit has kicked in) and must be replaced, Kingston insulted our intelligence with two "troubleshooting" steps about power sources, then made a stupid error in acting as though Sonicare toothbrushes and their chargers have metal contacts somewhere that need to be kept clean: they don't. For taking 300 words to say what she could have said in ten, Kingston richly deserves today's Dumbass of the Day award.

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