Metal Roofing, the Dummy Approach

standing seam metal roof on cabin

As our researchers wander the back roads of the internet in search of ridiculous claims and mathematical foul-ups, they often run across "helpful" rubbish, This is especially true in the area of home improvements and home repair, although many of our posts are of the "Don't Do It Yourself" variety. Today's DotD falls within that rubric, as Trisha Faulkner Wright (writing under the pseudonym DLWright at WritEdge.com) attempts to sell her readers on metal roofing in "Is Metal Roofing Right For Your Home?"¹ Like most of the content she sprayed across the site in a two-month period before the owners quit paying pennies per hit, this appears to have been repurposed from a Squidoo lens. That doesn't mean, however, this particular post is worth jack...

For one thing, Wright lives in the Midwest, where metal roofs are as scarce as hen's teeth – what makes her an expert? For another, this may well be one of the worst examples of bad editing we've seen in a while. Here's an example of what Trisha has to say in her "introduction":

This metal roofing looks like clay tiles

"Most homeowners are no stranger to the energy efficiency, longevity, and other benefits to having a metal roof installed. However, knowing these benefits is not always enough for them to decide whether or not a metal roof is the right decision for their home. In a lot of situations, a metal roof is a great choice; however, each situation is different. How do you decide if a metal roof is right for you?"

We rather suspect that her first statement is wildly optimistic: most homeowners actually have no idea whatsoever of the advantages and disadvantages of metal roofs. When it comes to quality of writing, "...decide whether or not a metal roof is the right decision..." sure takes the cake! But moving along. Trisha claims, of "the aesthetics," that

"With the advancements in technology and design, a metal roof can be installed on your own in a way that makes it look nothing like a traditional metal roof"... ...which presupposes that people know what a "traditional metal roof" looks like. We thought it might be something like the very attractive roof in this article's photo (above), but apparently Wright thinks otherwise. Trisha then claims that "A common misconception about metal roofing is that it really is not safe for the structure of your home...." We love it when people who know nothing assume that everyone else is just as clueless. Anyone who's ever tried to pick up a bundle of asphalt shingles knows they're heavy as hell! Finally, Faulkner Wright finishes off her misinformation with the claim that...

"Metal roofing is a great option if you live in a place that is especially windy. It is extremely common for a homeowner to have metal roofing installed after their current roof is damaged by wind."

...which is, believe it or not, bull – but then, consider the source.

When all is said and done, Wright's greatest disservice to her readers is her failure to mention the many different options in metal roofing. She doesn't mention, for instance, that the standing seam roofing (shown above) is just one option: there are also different varieties of metal shakes and shingles, even some made to resemble clay tiles. In other words, if you wanted to know if metal roofing is right for your home, our Dumbass of the Day is definitely not the right person to ask!

¹ This website is now defunct, and the post seems to have not been archived by the Wayback machine at archive.org. Oh, well, no loss.

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