Sloping Privacy Fences for Dummies

That's not a pre-assembled panel, Edwin.

Many of the freelancers we run across in our research seem to suffer from a version of tunnel vision. This seems to be especially true of eHow.com posts, most of which are now in the Leaf Group family of niches. Perhaps the freelancer has a brief experience with the topic, more likely the freelancer has researched a tangentially related topic. Whatever the case, their tunnel vision renders them incapable of actually being helpful to a reader. Take the case of eHowian Edwin Thomas, who tackled "How to Build a Wooden Privacy Fence on a Slope" for HomeSteady.com.

Interestingly enough, the next fence-related topic at Hunker is also written by Thomas. It's "How to Remove Wooden Fence Panels," and it might well be where Edwin came up with the cockamamie notion that,

"Building some types of fencing on a slope often involves no more difficulty than on level ground, but this is not the case with wooden privacy fencing. This fence type uses pre-fabricated panels to create a wood wall..."

Our staffers who are familiar with fences know quite well that this is a ridiculous claim, because they've built fences before (something it's unlikely this "international affairs" grad and travel blogger has ever done). If you want to build a privacy fence on a slope, Edwin, you build it using 2-by rails and dog-ear pickets – not prefabricated panels. Oh, those are OK for a slight slope, but if you don't want Muffet the toy poodle slipping through the open spaces where the fence doesn't fit the slope, you can't use 'em where it's steep. That's what one of Thomas' references points out:

"The parallel method has the fence running parallel to the slope. Since this method requires that the fence be constructed to conform to the slope, it can't be accomplished using preassembled fence panels."

Let's see what Eddie has to say, though. After going through several steps for staking post locations and measuring the slope (for some reason, he thinks fence panels are six feet?), Thomas says to:

• "Divide the drop of the hill by the number of fence panels to establish the distance each panel must step down on that slope. A 30-inch drop divided by six fence panels indicates each panel must be attached in a position five inches higher (or lower, depending on your perspective) than the one before it." – True, Edwin: now, if you'd just explained how to measure the drop. That's just a 4° slope: what if it's, say, 15°? That would mean each panel is mounted 18" different from the adjacent panel!
• "For an 8-foot tall, 6-inch wide fence post, [the] holes are 32 inches deep and 12 inches wide." – A six-inch post? is he kidding?

"Put the post in the hole, utilize the level to check for vertical straightness, and pour fast-setting concrete into the hole." – No, dummy, you stake the posts to make certain they remain plumb as you pour cement! Besides not knowing about privacy pickets and not being familiar with slopes steeper than 5 or 10°, Thomas also doesn't know squat about fence posts. The sad part is that no one at eHow nailed him for his semi-competent take on building a fence and his apparent belief that the only way to build your own privacy fence is with panels. Oh, wait: someone at eHow notice an error in a DIY post? Who'd ever expect that? Only a Dumbass of the Day; perhaps one like Edwin...

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