Hurricanes for Dummies

Radar image of a hurricane (Irma, 2017)

As we write this, the Carolinas are still suffering the lingering effects of 2018's Hurricane Florence. Our hearts go out to them. Some of us have lived in Houston: 'nuff said...

Given many people's fascination with hurricanes, we'd have thought that even an eHow freelancer could get it right. Sadly, we were wrong, as we learned when a staffer happened upon a Sciencing.com article written by Dan Boone, "The Characteristics of a Hurricane."

We think that any discussion of hurricanes, particularly after storms like Katrina, Irma (left), and Sandy; would touch on the three major perils of the storms: rain, wind, and storm surge. Unfortunately for people interested in facts, Boone's "characteristics" mention only one of the three; wind. And even with that, Dan misinforms:

"A minimal hurricane has winds that are sustained at 75 miles per hour. A major hurricane can have wind speeds of 200 miles per hour."

A correction, sir: hurricanes are limited to the Atlantic Ocean, and the maximum wind speed known for a hurricane is 190 MPH, recorded during 1980's Hurricane Allen. Wind speeds in excess of 200 MPH are relatively common for Pacific cyclones, but not hurricanes. 200 MPH is merely the potential upper limit of a Cat 5 storm.

Had Boone ever heard of the Saffir-Simpson scale, perhaps he'd have mentioned that there is a gradation of storm intensity from tropical depression to tropical storm to hurricane categories 1-5; which are based on maximum sustained wind speed. But Dan didn't mention that. Had he ever been near such a storm, he'd probably have mentioned the deadly storm surge that "pushes" water onshore, flooding coastal areas with up to 20 feet of water. But nooo...

Had Boone ever lived through a hurricane, he'd probably have known that his claim that "wind is violently dispersed outward from the storm" is bull; instead winds circle the center of the storm counterclockwise.

No, this idiot pounded out 300-plus words of prattle, including such inanities as,

"Wind in the Northern Hemisphere deflects to the right. Wind in the Southern Hemisphere moves to the left. This is why the circulation of cyclones forms in opposite rotations in the right and left hemispheres..."

...apparently confusing the Atlantic with a brain – not that this music major actually has one. Our Mr. Boone did a truly lousy job of describing the characteristics of hurricanes, one that we'd generously give a C-minus in Earth Science class if we were his fifth-grade teacher. We're not, but we can give this idiot the honor of his second Dumbass of the Day award. When you come right down to it, though, we think Boone should be sentenced to watching The Weather Channel 24/7 through the entire hurricane season.

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