Vinyl Siding for Dumber Dummies

Vinyl siding with J channel

Our research team here at the Antisocial Network long ago decided that (with the possible exception of dangerous stupidity), the most insultingly stupid rubbish at the mother lode of misinformation (aka eHow.com) has to be that written by freelancers who didn't understand the question. Without further ado, then, we present the queen of ignorance, Lacy Enderson, and her ham-handed attempt to explain "How to Trim Windows with Vinyl Siding"¹ (hiding in plain sight at HomeSteady.com).

Enderson, here making her eighteenth visit to the podium, was so ignorant of home construction that the idiot actually thought the OQ wanted to know how to use pieces of vinyl siding as trim! Anyone with even the slightest knowledge of home construction or repair would know that the OQ wanted to know how to trim the windows on a house sided in vinyl... but as for Lacy?

"Decorative vinyl siding is used adequately [sic] to trim windows, corners, gables and doors. The product is sold at most building supply stores and can be purchased in 3 1/2-inch and 5-inch widths. Vinyl siding comes in numerous colors and provides the look of real wood around windows... When trimming the windows with vinyl siding, it is important to minimize all gaps, as vinyl siding has a tendency to leak more than other types of material. But if properly installed, you shouldn't have any problems at all." Dear Lord, deliver us from freelancers who have no idea what they're talking about... freelancers like Lacy! Feast your eyes on some of her "instructions":

• "The side pieces... will butt up against the top and bottom pieces..." – Does Lacy even realize the shape of vinyl siding?
• "Mark the vinyl siding and cut the lengths with a chopsaw..." – Most people cut short lengths with scissors-style cutters...
• "Nail the vinyl siding pieces in place using 3 1/2-inch nails. Make sure to hammer the nails through the studs in the wall for maximum holding strength." – Use nails 3½" long? Really?
• "Hang the vinyl siding on the house per the manufacturer's instructions. Butt the siding up against the vinyl trim already installed around the window."

Well, that about says it all: Lacy seems to think that you use chunks of your vinyl siding as... we guess as casing molding. That she knows nothing about windows, siding, vinyl, or molding is readily apparent.

For the record, a window in a house with vinyl siding is treated the same as a window in a house with brick or wood siding: it's surrounded with casing molding. In some buildings, the casing overlaps the ends of the siding; in others, the siding butts against the casing and is trimmed with J-channel. In no case, however, would a builder slap a few random pieces of siding around the window frame – not, at least, unless said builder is our Dumbass of the Day!

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_4841073_trim-windows-vinyl-siding.html

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