Comparing Plywoods for Dummies

Different plywood types

When the nice people at Leaf Group began pushing all the old eHow content into niches, they also started stringing together posts their algorithm "thinks"¹ are related. The intern checking on older DotD nominees was looking at a HomeSteady.com post about plywood yesterday, and it was chained to "Fir Vs. [sic] Pine Plywood." A little browsing through what author Josh Hulbert thought about the topic was all the kid needed to come up with his first ever nomination.

Hulbert opened, as eHowians are wont to do, by trying to explain what plywood is and how it's made. For the most part, he did OK, though apparently his research was a little... weak:

"When a sheet of plywood is labeled 'fir plywood,' for example, this refers to the species of the outer plies, where the inner plies may be a lesser-grade wood."

If entirely wood plies, the inner layers are generally whatever's cheap and easy to get; however Josh neglected to mention that some plywood has an MDF core. Otherwise, he did OK there. Hulbert's lack of familiarity with plywood and its uses started showing up in subsequent paragraphs:

• "Fir plywood is often used for interior sheeting on floors, enclosures and some walls." – We think Josh meant "sheathing."
• "Fir is... quite popular for use in construction when used in the appropriate locations." – And what locations might be considered "appropriate," Josh? Wouldn't that be more useful than some of the boilerplate you did barf up?
• "Pine plywood is rarely actually 'plywood' at all. Pine is most often found in solid sheets, but may still be referred to as 'plywood,' simply indicating that it is a large sheet of pine." – Now that is utter bullshit. Pine plywood is plywood, not solid pine. It's impossible to buy solid pine in 4x8 sheets!
• "Pine is a plentiful wood, and inexpensive, but it is also quite soft and vulnerable to water damage..." – We wouldn't say quite in either case. Perhaps it's a little more vulnerable to warping than fir, but not "quite vulnerable."
• "...varieties [with] hardwood veneers... are suitable for paint or stain and are quite common in cabinet and furniture construction." – Just in case you didn't know, Josh, any fir or pine plywood with a B or A rating is suitable for paint, not just hardwoods. In fact, painting hardwood plywood may be a waste of money. Idiot.

In other words, some guy who claims a "BA in mathematics" (is that even possible? apparently yes, if you have a double major), a tech geek who knows jack about lumber and woodworking, is trying to explain something he'd never given a single thought before "claiming the title." In other words, it's another Dumbass of the Day.

¹ Surely it's an algorithm: would a human think that posts on orange oil, lavender oil, and heating oil are related? Well, maybe: we know how clueless their content editors are...

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