Bicycle Shifting for Dummies

Which way is "upward," Nicole?

You'd think that a "lifelong athlete" and a wannabe personal trainer would know better... Wait, you haven't read the rubbish that brought on that observation yet, have you!? Well, take a look: it's "How to Change Gears on a 10-Speed Bicycle," which eHowian Nicole Vulcan published at azCentral.com. To say that Nicole didn't do a good job is being kind, and we aren't inclined to be kind to people who write, for money, about stuff when they know nothing about it. Hell, they might as well be politicians.

Anyway, Vulcan started off sort of OK, mentioning that there aren't really very many 10-speeds any more. We guess she learned that from one of her references, because after that and the following passage...

"Whatever the number of gears you have on your bicycle though, the way you shift is often similar [sic]. The types of levers you have for shifting may vary, but you'll find that the gears perform in a similar manner across brands."

...Nicole didn't say much else that was even close to true. Here's what we mean:

• "...the lever on the right controls the five sprockets on the back side of the chain and is used for more precision shifting..." – We guess Nicole meant "the back wheel," although she should have said "the rear derailleur."
• "The lever on the left, meanwhile, controls the two big chainwheels at the front of the chain..." – Ummm, it actually controls the front derailleur, which shifts between the chainwheels attached to the pedals.
• "[Shift] Levers come in different configurations for different brands of bikes..." – Ummm, no, the different configurations are for different styles of bikes; not "brands."
• "Move the lever upward until you hear a click..." – "Upward"? We know of no shift lever configuration that includes up-and-down movement.
• "Since you have a 10-speed bike, you should have five 'clicks' on the right hand lever." – Four, actually...

• "...shift one "click" at a time and allow the bike to move into the easier or harder gear before you shift another time... reach for the lever on the left-hand handlebar. Move the lever upward until you hear one click." – There's that "upward" bull again. Plus, the order of shifting depends entirely on the gear ratios of the chainwheels and cluster. It will, however, never be right, right, right, right, left for a 10-speed.
• "To maintain [steady cadence], look ahead to what's coming down the road and shift well ahead of the change in conditions." – No, not "well ahead," Nikki. You downshift when you can't maintain cadence and upshift when you're spinning like a windmill

It doesn't take much familiarity with cycling to realize that Vulcan's "advice" is bogus, quite probably because she hadn't been on a bicycle since her first boyfriend started driving (or walking) her to school. That's why Nicole so richly deserves the Dumbass of the Day award we're giving her.

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