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Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Molding Profiles for Dummies

edge profile comparison
edge profile comparison
Here at the headquarters of the Antisocial Network, we believe that if you're going to tell someone the difference between A and B, you darned well better know what A and B are as well as how to differentiate between them. The first part seems to have stymied many a contributor to the former eHow.com, in content now distributed across a plethora of niche sites. We fund one such post recently at HomeSteady.com, where one Stanley Goff attempted to explain "Bullnose Trim Vs. [sic] Quarter Round." Needless to say, the English grad did a wretched job...

We'll be frank here (as opposed to being stanley). The difference between quarter round and bullnose is quite simple: a bullnose is a segment of a circle that connects two parallel lines and a quarter round is a segment of a circle that connects two perpendicular lines. It's that simple.

Of course, Goff couldn't just say that, because he was required to pound out somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 words, and he wouldn't have collected his stipend for a mere twenty-seven.  What to do...

When in doubt, pad. And the problem with padding information you don't already know is that you start introducing error (or, as we like to call it, "bullshit"). You know, errors like Stanley's claim that,
"Bullnose is most often, but not exclusively, associated with ceramic tile work. Quarter round, on the other hand, is most often associated with wood."
Utter bullshit, that: the exposed edge of almost every wooden stair tread you've ever seen has had a bullnose profile. Almost every laminated countertop, and a lot of the "granite" ones you've seen, has a quarter round profile. Let's see what other bushwa Goff had to share:
  • "Bullnose is a strip trim most often used in ceramic tile work to transition to a raised surface. " – No, Stan, that's not what your ceramic tile guy calls a "transition": a transition is a change in surface types, e.g., from tile to carpet. And you certainly don't use a bullnose there!
  • "Whether wood or ceramic, bullnose trim comes in two forms: 90 degree and 180 degree." – No, you ignorant twit: 90 degrees is... QUARTER-ROUND!
  • 'Quarter round trim is commonly seen at the bottom of interior walls, where it hides the gap between uneven flooring and wall trim." – No, Stan, the molding you're thinking of 1) is usually at the junction of a floor and a baseboard and 2) isn't quarter round, it's base shoe and is not a perfect quarter-circle. Quarter-round is more likely to be used in corners where paneled walls meet. 
  • "Rails:  Some bullnose trim is wide and more elaborately shaped on the non-flat surface." – No, Stan, bullnose is always the same shape. A rail is, well, a rail; and rails have many different profiles.
The danger of allowing a freelancer to pluck random "references" from the web and slap together a few hundred words of bullshit is that you'll end up with a bunch of misleading factoids that bear little resemblance to reality. The danger of doing this yourself is that, like Stanley Goff, you'll win a Dumbass of the Day award.
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