Wine Rack Instructions for Dummies

No instructions needed, ParaGod

Among the many reasons we find to (metaphorically) slap around greed-sucking freelancers, one can be especially vexing. It's bad enough when someone tried to tell you how to perform a DIY project and botches it because of lack of knowledge and/or experience, but the ones who roll out a bait-and-switch and never even try to provide a guide? They take the cake! "They" being today's nominee, ParaGod, with her InfoBarrel.com post, "How To Build Your Own Wine Rack For Free Or Cheap."

Now, when someone tells you they're writing a "how-to," it's perfectly reasonable to expect some wort of instructions. Maybe not blueprints and a professional-quality cutting list, but instructions? Of course! Well, "of course" unless you're ParaGod (or as she was previously known, Scale-of-1-to-10) – that yutz pulled the old bait-and-switch by including the words "how to" in her title but never actually telling us "how to."

Instead, we get lots and lots of platitudes, including tired bullshit like,

"You will first need to decide what material you would like to build your wine rack out of. For simplicity purposes [sic], beginners should choose a material that is easy to work with, such as wood. For the daring and brave crafters, you may prefer to use a different material such as metal. Learning to work with metal is beyond the scope of this article. As such, we will focus on making a simple wine rack out of wood."

Great: now how do we do that? Well, according to Para,

"You can easily make your own wine rack using wood that you can obtain at a reasonable price at your local lumberyard... You can use a nail and hammer or screws and a screwdriver, whichever is easier for you... Once your wine rack has been constructed, you can finish it with stain, varnish or the paint color of your choice."

Great: now how do I do that? Well, according to Para,

"Go to your local supermarket or convenience store and ask if they have any wooden crates. This is not the same as wooden pallets, which can be very large and difficult to work with. Small wooden crates can make great bottle holders and can be stacked as tall as you like."

Is this idiot kidding? Ask at a "convenience store" it they have any wooden crates? Yes, that's as close as our Dumbass of the Day gets to "how-to" instructions: find "crates" somewhere "for free." Someone might want to tell this moron that very little is shipped in wooden crates; but if they had any, no "supermarket or convenience store" would give them away, anyway.

Talk about being disconnected from reality...

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