Minerals in Indiana, a Dummy Speaks - The Freelance Files MMCCXXV

"Panning for gold," Indiana-style

Fans of the television show "Big Bang Theory" are probably well aware of the low regard in which main character Sheldon Cooper holds the science of geology. That's probably because of the introductory college course "rocks for jocks" that so many liberal arts majors take when the meteorology classes are full and they still need a science elective. Unfortunately, most of said liberal arts majors – and more than a few science majors – are remain ignorant of even the most basic geology. One such self-described "scientist" (now a dog trainer) is Marina Somma, and she managed to utterly botch a simple assignment in the earth sciences when she rewrote "Gems & Stones Found in Indiana" for Sciencing.com. Biology type Sylvie Tremblay, who supposedly reviewed the science, was no help...

Despite this gushy introduction to Hoosier geology penned by Somma, who has likely never been in the state...

"Whether you're a casual gem enthusiast or a full-blown rockhound, you can find a wide variety of different gems and stones in Indiana..."

...the facts are that Indiana is geologically rather boring. So Somma's next comment is even more off-point:

"From the Indiana state stone – Salem limestone – to rarer types of rocks and minerals, Indiana holds a bounty for the gem and mineral enthusiast."

First, Salem Limestone (note capitalization of a formal name) is not the "state stone," it is the state rock. Second, gem and mineral enthusiasts are most likely to be interested in regions with large exposures of igneous and metamorphic rock, neither of which appears at the surface in Indiana (not that Marina mentioned this).

Somma proceeded to reword and expand upon "important" information she found in the Meg Kramer post she was rewriting, regaling her readers with the information that,

"You can find a number of gold mines throughout Indiana that allow you to pan for gold... Though not impossible by any means, you aren't particularly likely to find diamonds in Indiana. A total of 38 diamonds have been discovered in the state."

The claim that there are "gold mines throughout Indiana" sent our staff geologist into near-paralysis with laughter. A tourist trap or two that allows kids to pan dirt salted with a few flakes of the yellow stuff is NOT a gold mine. And as for diamonds? The total value of diamonds found in Indiana throughout history is so insignificant as to beggar the imagination. Even if all 38 had been found in Brown County, that's about one diamond for every eight square miles of surface area!

Somma briefly mentioned the minerals barite, calcite, dolomite, marcasite, quartz and pyrite; as a rule misinforming her readers:

• "You can find [calcite] within metamorphic, sedimentary and igneous rock..." – Perhaps Marina should have mentioned the pretty calcite crystals that fill some geodes?
• "Dolomite mineral often forms small crystallization in white or light pink..." – WTF does that even mean?
• "Marcasite... often bears unique tabular crystals and a yellow hue." – Unique? Really? No mention that it's metallic like pyrite, with which it shares chemical composition?
• "Barite – You can find this mineral, a composition [sic] of barium sulfate, primarily within sedimentary rock. It's commonly found as streaks or veins within limestone." – Hmmm.... not of much interest to the "full-blown rockhound" if it's just a "streak," is it? 
• "Public Gem Mines in Indiana: You can find several public gem mines in Indiana, as well as parks and other sites with commonly found gems. Some examples include Hoosier National Forest, Ohio State Park, the Bedford Limestone Deposit, Copperhead Creek Mining Company and Squire Boon [sic] Caverns." – Besides the fact that there is no "Ohio State Park" (did Somma mean Falls of the Ohio, we wonder?), none of those are "public gem mines" – with the possible exception of Copperhead Creek, a tourist site where you can pan for gold indoors (see image above): not in a stream, but in a man-made sluice. Oh, and it's Squire Boone, Marina. You know, Daniel?

Somma's ignorance both of general geology and of the Hoosier state in particular are more than enough to merit a Dumbass of the Day award. We'd be remiss, however, if we didn't point out that the OQ was asking about "gems and stones," presumably in hopes of doing a little rockhounding. The sad fact is that, with the exception of foraging in streambeds and roadcuts for geodes, there's not a heckuva lot of rockhounding possible in Indiana. Fossils, yes; fine mineral specimens, probably not.

SI - INDIANA