Crawl-Space Storm Shelters Designed by Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCLXXXI

This is a storm shelter, Jennifer

Over the years of compiling this space, we've seen some pretty cockamamie ideas spring from the minds of greedy freelancers. It's bad enough when someone who doesn't know one end of a screwdriver from the other tries to teach people how to tune up a two-cycle engine or someone who lives in a college dorm "explains" how to build a deck, but when ignorant writers put people in danger? That's crossing a line. The line was crossed back in 2011 when eHow.com's Jennifer Dermody tried to tell the world "How to Build a Storm Shelter in a Crawl Space." That the powers that be at Leaf Group (the erstwhile Demand Media) have left this rubbish visible for over a decade speaks to the reason why eHow is the punchline of a search-engine joke.

Enough of that: let's see where Dermody went wonky. Here's a chunk of her mandatory introduction:

"...[create] a storm shelter, in the crawl space below your house that isn't deep enough for a basement. When you must take immediate shelter from a storm, the ideal location is away from windows, in a central location in your home. Whether for a few hours or even days, be prepared with supplies in a safe refuge until the storm passes."

Jennifer cribbed the business about "away from windows" from a FEMA website, apparently ignorant of the lack of windows in crawl spaces. And the notion of hiding in a crawl space "for... days" sent shivers up the spine of the staffer who found this. Dermody seems ignorant both of the duration of violent storms (days? really?) and of the dimensions of the typical crawl space.

Then again, Dermody's instructions, if you can call them that, consist mostly of a list of supplies that should be stocked in a storm shelter such as food, blankets, "sanitation items," and your baby's binky. Her only nod to actually building a shelter is,

"Create an area in the crawl space that's clear of debris and isn't located beneath large, heavy pieces of furniture on the above floor."

Even if your property has a crawl space deep enough for this area, Dermody said nothing about accessing the space – a trap door? a hatch in the foundation? – and nothing about hardening the sides and ceiling of the space. Strangely, the FEMA document Dermody cribbed for her stock list mentions crawl-space shelters, stating that "Crawlspace foundation walls are often unreinforced and therefore provide little resistance to the stresses caused by extreme winds." Had Dermody read more of FEMA's advice, she might have learned that storm shelters should be specially constructed with resistant walls and reinforced framing. Some random space under the floorboards is better than nothing, but not that much better. An independent shelter in the yard (or garage) is a much smarter idea.

Dermody claimed to be a real estate agent in Florida, the land of slab-built buildings, Perhaps that's why she seemed so ignorant of crawlspaces... but it sure helped make her the Dumbass of the Day!

DDIY - CONSTRUCTTION