Big Rigs for Dummies

A big rig

The respectable (and respectful) freelancer knows that to write knowledgeably about a topic, one must immerse him- or her-self in the topic and learn the basics from a professional or two. That's why you can trust the words of a well-known freelance journalist like Mary Roach: she's done her homework, talked to experts and given it her best. The self-described freelancers of the internet, however, are a lot more likely to just do a quick read of wikipedia and simply reword an article they found there or somewhere else. That's probably why you find "advice" from people on topics about which they knew nothing before starting their "research," articles that leave their readers knowing worse than nothing after reading them. Sometimes they get it more or less right –common sense dictates that you can't get some topics completely wrong – but you can tell they're just guessing because of some of the stupid things they say. Take, for instance, the advice of Amie Taylor, caught by our staff explaining to the world, "How to Start a Frozen Big Rig"¹... sort of.

While Amie's solution is pretty much accurate, it's also obvious that she had no concept at all about the topic at hand before (or after) writing it. She starts out by explaining that

"As a truck driver, you know it's important to protect your semi's engine in bitter cold temperatures. The last thing you need is a frozen engine."

Yeah, well, Amie, "As a truck driver" you'd be very likely to find two things wrong with that sentence:  No truck driver would ever say "my semi's engine": he or she knows that the engine is in the tractor.  While diesel engines are hard to start when cold, the engine doesn't freeze in any weather that humans can endure. The fuel system might freeze, though... Amie goes on to explain how to warm up your "frozen" semi tractor. The first thing, she explains, is that you need to get it warm. Taylor says to

"Recruit some friends and push the truck into an enclosed area such as a garage. Even an area that is shielded from the wind is preferable to leaving the truck unprotected... cover the hood with a couple of heavy blankets to protect it from windchill."

Amie, Amie, Amie: you'd better have a lot of friends, since you can expect the tractor to weigh somewhere in the area of eight to ten tons and, if it's pulling a fully-loaded trailer the entire rig may well weigh about 40 tons. Like we said, lots of friends. And while we're at it, blocking the elements does not "protect [inanimate objects] from wind chill": only living things lose heat as a result of the wind chill factor. What moving a truck into shelter does is concentrate the output of any heaters being used in a smaller area; and blankets add insulation to prevent heat from radiating off the engine block. But the wind chill factor? Nope...

Other than those clear stupidities, Amie gets it right: use deicer and space heaters. Unfortunately, her obvious lack of knowledge about trucks and trucking renders her a prime candidate for Dumbass of the Day, OTR trucking category.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was ehow.com/how_7626968_start-frozen-big-rig.html

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