Pavers for Total Dummies

Brick paver patio

Sometimes we read a blog post or a snippet at a content farm and the writer's complete lack of knowledge on the topic is crystal clear. Often, this is because the content has simply been spun from a more authoritative site – content at Seekyt.com is notorious for this – but other times it seems that the writer simply looked at some topic and thought to himself or herself, "Heck, I could do that — anybody could!" The obvious problem is that the writer's never performed this task and just plain doesn't realize how stupid the idea is. We found one today that definitely fits into that category: "How to Calculate the Cost of a Brick Paver Patio,"¹ which appears at eHow.com (where else?), courtesy of Yelena Johnson. Yelena's by trade a wedding planner, which might account for her lack of expertise in the field of patio construction (we haven't seen many gardeners writing about wedding dresses lately, though...)

Johnson's confusion about the topic is clear from the get-go, as one might divine from her introduction:

"Brick paving is a typical do-it yourself project that requires you to generate your own quote, rather than relying on bids from subcontractors."

Which, of course, raises the question: who uses subcontractors for a DIY project? But it only gets worse from here. Yelena wants you to measure the area...

"Measure the vertical and horizontal distances of the patio you intend to cover with brick paver."

"Vertical and horizontal"? We're confused: does she mean "length and width"? And although brick is a one of those oddball words whose plural is the same as its singular (the same as fish, sheep or deer), "paver" isn't. Once you've followed her rather torturous directions for calculating the area ("multiplying the vertical and horizontal measurements," NOT!), Johnson instructs you thus... "Determine the brick type you will use for paving and make note of its dimensions and cost per brick... Multiply the length and width of the brick together to obtain its area... Divide the total area by the area of a single brick. This resulting number will be the number of bricks you will need to complete the project."

Interesting: most people who've done projects like this are aware that the supplier -- garden center or BigBox hardware store -- posts the coverage of their bricks (or pavers: they're not necessarily the same thing) in units per square foot, etc. Yelena apparently doesn't know this... But wait, there's more:

"If you are completing the project yourself, add the cost of cement to obtain the total. Your local hardware store can provide the amount of cement necessary for your given area. Bags of cement are relatively inexpensive, $5 for a 40-pound bag, and will not be a significant change to the estimate."

Lord have mercy, Yelena: if you lay pavers on a concrete pad, the cost of the cement is far from insignificant! There's also the cost of mortar, too... and what if the reader intends to set his pavers in sand over a crushed gravel base: you didn't even mention that cost. Plus, the wise DIYer always adds 10% to a materials estimate for waste -- a factor Johnson completely neglects. 
And this dumbass got paid to write this bullshit. Sometimes life ain't fair - Yelena gets paid and collects a Dumbass of the Day award, too!

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_5199698_calculate-cost-brick-paver-patio.html

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