Balcony Construction for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCI

cantilevered balcony joists

It never ceases to amaze us that many of the freelancers at the former eHow.com (now a collection of niche sites under the Leaf Group umbrella) would begin to answer a question by defining even the most basic terms. For instance, we've seen many an eHowian open a post about, say, changing the tires on a 1988 Toyota Tacoma¹ by warbling that "The 1988 Tacoma is a truck built by the Toyota Corporation of Japan in 1988." Duh. And yet some of them were so careless that they never bothered to look up the definition of something they were allegedly explaining. The latter group includes one Will Gish, who failed miserably to explain, "How Is a Balcony Built?" for the mother site.

An Insulated Door for Warm-Blooded Dummies

4 inches of foam is about R-16

The nice people at Leaf Group, the content farmers formerly known as Demand Media Studios, have spent that past few years attempting to repair their reputation (such as it is) from the bad old days of eHow.com. Actually, it's pretty clear they don't care about their reputation, just their SERP. Whatever the case, they've niched much of the one-time eHow content and even sent some of it to "rewrite specialists." One such is Lindsay Kramer, whose concentration appears to have been in business and semi-legal questions. This "relatively new homeowner" did, however, make a single foray into DIY with "How to Build an Insulated Shed Door"; and ended up stinking up the joint.

Pre-Cut Stringers for the Dummy Deck Builder

pre-cut stair stringers

No matter what the DIY project, there's always someone looking for help in figuring out how to do it. That was the impetus for the creation of the website eHow.com. On the face of it, the idea was sound; their problem was in its execution. As far as the founders of eHow were concerned, first-hand knowledge of the project was never prerequisite for writing their little articles. As a result, the site became the laughingstock of people who did have first-hand knowledge; at least in part because of contributors like Emily Patterson and her Hunker.com article, "How to Use Pre-Cut Stair Stringers for Decks."

Doors from Plywood, the Dummies Method

plywood shed door

People who wrote at eHow.com, the ones that Demand Media called "contributors," were required to open their posts with an "introduction." Our staffers find these 75-word snippets invaluable, because it's there that we often first recognize freelancers who have no idea what they're talking about. Take, for example, today's DotD nominee, Owen E. Richason IV, who pretended to know "How to Build a Plywood Door" for the mother site, eHow.com.

Richason opened by imagining a need...

Pergola Post Installation for Dummies

Squaring posts for a project

Then it comes to doofus instruction sets available on line, the eHow.com crop of freelancers was the source of many of the most curious procedural boo-boos we've run across. More than a few of them had some pretty bizarre notions of what tools to use and how to use them when they were writing up their lists of steps. One of the most curious blind spots seems to be in the use of basic carpenter's tools, tools such as the square and the level. Oh, Elizabeth Punke got hammer and nails pretty much right for her Hunker.com post "How to Square Posts for a Pergola," but when it came to other tools? Not so hot...

Building Porches for Dummies

a porch is not a deck

We've long since lost count of the number of times we've run across eHowian contributors who, for whatever reason decide to interpret the assignments they grab in a manner tha makes it easier for them to "answer" them. We aren't sure whether they do so out of ignorance or avarice... but we imagine it;s a combination of both. For today's example, we offer "How Much Wood Do I Need for a 12x12 Porch?" as attacked by Jennifer Tolbert for Hunker.com.

Deck Construction Tips by Dummies

Deck Framing

Hmmm... it must be "deck week" here at the Antisocial Network! Yesterday's entry was some putz trying to explain how to repair a deck, but today we're gonna go back to basics and look for some "Step-by-Step Plans on How to Build a Deck." Truth be told, we truly pity any poor Googler (or Binger) who looks for that information and happens to run across the dreck published at eHow.com by Charmayne Smith.

Joists for Dummy Carpenters

wood joist framing

When the time comes to have construction work done on a building, we're inclined to think that we would rather consult a carpenter that some freelancer with a BFA in creative writing. After all, someone who has to look up common building terms probably doesn't know how to build things, either... At least that's the impression we got when we looked into a post at WiseGEEK.net, "What Are the Types of Joist Design?"; as concocted by Andrew Kirmayer. The post has since been moved, for unknown reasons, to AlltheScience.com ("science"? really?).

Edge Flashing for Dummies

Edge flashing for a roof

Around the Antisocial Network, we know that a homeowner's most dangerous enemy is water. It doesn't have to be a flood, though, because water is nothing if not patient. Any building that isn't carefully sealed is gonna leak, the leaks are gonna cause wet wood, and the wet wood is gonna rot. Over the centuries, builders have figured out that one way to keep water away from the wood is to use metal flashing to prevent water from penetrating. That's why your home's roof has different kinds of flashing in different places. If you think it needs more, though, you'd better not ask the likes of HomeSteady.com's Missy Farage questions like, "How do I Install an Edge Flashing on a Patio Roof?"¹

R-30 Insulation for Dummy Homeowners

Installing attic insulation

We aren't quite sure what's going on over at the Leaf Group, but it appears that the company has hired a cadre of out-of-work J-school grads to "freshen" their content. Whatever the case, we keep running across rewrites of perfectly good content (and sometimes not so perfect); rewrites cobbled together by freelancer who apparently know even less about the topic at hand than the original author. Take today's DotD nominee, Meg Atteberry, asked to tell people "How Thick Is R30 Ceiling Insulation?" at HomeSteady.com.

Mail Slots for Dummy Remodelers

A through the wall mail slot

For those who own a house and actually understand it, the notion of cutting holes through an exterior wall is downright terrifying. Exterior walls, in case you weren't aware of it, are a lot more complex than they look; not to mention that they're there for more than just holding up the roof. If you don't know what you're doing, it's not a good idea to cut holes in them for such things as doggy doors... or, as readers of Aryeh Raphael and eHow.com might note, for "How to Make a Mail Slot in the Wall."

Foundation Vents for Dummies

You might be surprised (we're not...) by how often content-farm freelancers manage to botch DIY instructions because, to be perfectly frank, they have no earthly idea what they're talking about. Take, for instance, the half-baked job multiple DotD winner Lacy Enderson performed when attempting to tell people, "How to Install a Foundation Vent" at the mother site, eHow.com.

Bay Windows for the Dummy Carpenter

Bay window with window seat

Most do-it-yourself projects must be tackled in a step-wise manner, which is why so many of them are presented as a series of steps. Those who've tackled such projects know that some steps are simple and quick, while others are more difficult and require greater skill. Turning off a circuit breaker is easy, fishing a four-conductor 10-gauge wire through the wall from the attic is less so. Finding a freelance post that passes off the hard stuff as a simple "do this next" tends to raise the hackles of our DotD panelists, which is why Courtney Ramirez and her LoveToKnow.com post "How to Build a Bay Window"¹ are today's nominee.

Laundry Rooms, the Dummy Version

Typical laundry room

A somewhat surprising number of the questions that contributors to eHow.com answered were, if you thought about them for a while, just plain dumb. That never stopped some of the site's crackerjack "contributors" from answering them, however – even if they had no idea how to answer them! One such contributor we've already caught blathering about construction techniques (even though she's a psychologist) is Judi Light Hopson. Well, she's back again with a Homesteady.com post about "How to Add a Laundry Room to an Older House."¹

Soffit and Fascia Comparison for Dummies

Soffit vs fascia

Our research staffers here at the Antisocial Network regularly come across content written – or more correctly, "reworded" – by freelancers whose sole knowledge of the topic comes from about five minutes of slapdash research at Google and Wikipedia. They're usually pretty easy to recognize because of the clumsiness with which the writers use the heretofore unfamiliar terms and tasks. To get an idea of what we're talking about, let's look at the job Hunker.com's Renee Miller did for someone wondering, "What is the Difference Between Soffit & Fascia?"

Site Preparation for Dummies

Theodolite used in site preparation

We've long been aware of the short bios eHow.com contributors (now randomly spread over Leaf Group niche sites) and the information they provide. What we can't generally figure out is how the broad experience logged by some of them is relevant to any particular subject. Most are journalists, who are apparently taught in J-school that they can fake knowledge of anything (they can't), but some aren't. Some are like lawyer and biker chick Karen Boyd, who for some unknown reason thought she was qualified to detail "Tools Used in Site Preparation" for Hunker.com.

LVL for Dummy Builders

joist hangers

We think that it's a pretty safe bet that when you find a freelancer giving the wrong definition for a term in the first sentence of the post, you've found a live DotD candidate. Here's a good recipe: take one "motivational speaker" with an AA in English and assign him to write about construction techniques... that's what we found in the case of eHow.com's Timothy Burns and "How to Use Joist Hangers on LVL" at the the mother site.

Bricks vs. Pavers for Dummies

Sometimes our staffers find themselves reading and rereading a potential DotD nomination, and sometimes the posts pretty much nominate themselves. Today's candidate falls somewhere in the middle: the freelancer who gobbled it up at eHow.com did some research, submitted her post, got it past a content editor, and collected her check. The problem? it looks as though Lexa W. Lee didn't actually read the question she answered for GardenGuides.com, because she sure didn't explain "What Is the Difference Between a Brick & a Paver"!

Homemade Fence Posts for Dummies

fence with pine log posts

Truth be told, sometimes we simply cannot understand why the OQ¹ even bothered to ask some of the questions freelancers at eHow answered (or attempted to answer). We haven't run across any about butt plugs yet... but we did find one recently that borders on the totally doofus. Nevertheless, sometime forklift driver and painter (with a "communications" degree, of course) Cody Sorensen was more than happy to tackle "How to Make Fence Posts Out of Pine Trees."

Roof Rakes for Homeowning Dummies

Roofing terminology, including rake

It's not unusual for one of our staffers to run across freelance content that trips a little alarm somewhere deep in their minds. That's especially likely when they find a content-farm post written well outside the areas of expertise of the freelancer in question. Today's DotD nominee is precisely that: based on her bio at HomeSteady.com, Bridgette Austin is an accomplished buzzword-user, but it's also clear that she knew nothing about a "Roof Rake Definition"¹ before googling it. Our staffer, on the other hand, did...