Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Lengthening a Door for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCLIII

hollow core door
hollow core door construction
We know how much people like to take polls, so here's a quick, two-choice poll for you, dear reader. If you need someone to tell you "How to Lengthen a Wood Door," whose instructions are you more likely to trust:
  1. A carpenter or general handyperson
  2. A "professional business copywriter, journalist and photographer"
If your answer is number 2, then the rubbish that returning DotD Jenn Starr pounded out for eHow.com is right up your alley, and all you need do is follow that link. If you aren't sure, read on and we'll tell you why that wouldn't be a good idea.

Just based on her introduction, it's a pretty sure bet that Starr was talking through the metaphorical hat when she shared her "expertise." But that wasn't the only clue. No, it often takes just one sentence to demonstrate a nominee's ignorance, and we found that sentence right away. Having worked with a few doors over the years, our house home-repair guru found this particular passage quite... telling:
"If your door bottom is uneven, saw it so it is squared off. If you have a hollow wood door, you won't be able to do this part."
Yup, Jenn was apparently unaware that the entire perimeter of a hollow-core door is solid, with rails and stiles to strengthen the shape and provide an anchor for the hardware. Sheesh. Starr typed up a few other faux pas along the way as well, such as
  • Telling her readers they will need a "Circular saw and table" and a "Countersink drill" ? Was the young J-school grad unaware that circular saws don't come with tables (though you used to be able to buy a Hirsh table), and that there's no such thing as a countersink drill? Bit, yeah, drill, no.
  • Suggesting that her readers "Determine what kind of wood your door is made of, then match it at your local home improvement store in the lumber department." Uhhh, sure: every home improvement store sells solid "lauan" to match your hollow-core door. Oh, yeah, and be certain to match the grain...
  • And how about this idea: "If your door is wood stained, then you can buy stain and varnish there also, or repaint or restain the entire door. Lengthening a short wood door will save on your energy bill, too." The non sequitur about energy notwithstanding, you might as well buy a new door if you have to strip and restain the damned thing!
Based on past experience, our staffers think our Dumbass of the Day missed the boat by failing to provide any information about the "addition" she kept citing. Well, except for "cut your wood strip to size on the table saw" (apparently, Starr thought a "Circular saw and table" is the same thing as a table saw. It ain't.) Someone with at least rudimentary knowledge of the work might mention ripping the strip to width and thickness, since you can't just buy "additions" at your local lumberyard and the strip is HIGHLY unlikely to be a standard width and thickness (doors are usually one and three-eights inches thick).

DDIY - DOORS

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