What is the Sound of One Dummy Clapping?

Here we are, five days into eHow week, and the dummies are still lined up around the block. It's hard to choose from among all the candidates, but someone has to do it. Sigh. So for today, we're going to talk about sound. It's a pretty simple subject. That is, it's simple unless you're Joan Whetzel, writing for eHow.com on the topic of "How to Define Audible Sound."¹ Here's what we mean:

Sine wave

"Definition
Sound creates air turbulence (wavelengths) whereas changing decibel (dB) levels alter wavelength pressure (adjust the volume). Audible sound involves wavelengths, amplitudes and frequencies passing through a medium (i.e. air, eardrum and inner ear), carried by the otic [sic] nerve to the brain where it's perceived as an amount of sound (dB)."

Well, duh: we had no idea that a wavelength is air turbulence; probably because that's not what a wavelength is! This dumbass couldn't decipher all that "icky science-y stuff" over at wikipedia, so she  just threw in some tech-sounding words and collected her fee. In fact, sound doesn't "create air turbulence," sound is how the ears and brain interpret the mechanical energy contained in waves, i.e., turbulence, passing through the air. Those "wavelength" thingies Joan obviously doesn't understand are the physical distance between successive peaks in a sound wave (lambda - the upside-down Y - in the image), which are closely related to the pitch (frequency) of the sound. Sadly, Whetzel somehow managed to misinform any foolish reader who followed a link to eHow, by making a technical or grammatical mistake in almost every sentence of the post!

It's a classic example of why eHow, with its vast assemblage of dumbass contributors, is the laughingstock of knowledgeable folks everywhere. Joan, you're our Dumbass of the Day... and your editor deserves an assist!

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. The URL was ehow.com/facts_7248871_define-audible-sound.html .

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