Chain Replacement for Cycling Dummies

Chain tool

Back when eHow.com burst on the scene, the site's contributors were anonymous. Everything they published simply claimed it had been written by "eHow [name of topic] Editor." When the company's SEO gurus decided that google searches prefer content with "real" names, they changed direction. Some of the oldest content on the site, however, still has the "editor" byline; including the choice piece of rubbish called "How to Replace a Bike Chain."¹ This one's exactly the sort of crappy content that made eHow a laughingstock back when the internet first learned about Panda. Here: check it out:

"Remove the Old Chain

1] Lean bike on a wall or place in a repair stand.
2] Use a link removal tool to place the chain in the channel section opposite the small crank."

Errrm, most people who know how to do this turn the bike upside down. And how do you use this "link removal tool" to place the chain somewhere? We assume you're talking about a chain tool (see image above) and, if you had ever seen one, you'd say something like, "Place the chain in the channel of the chain tool."

Of course, there's more: one of the tips is "Some chains have 'master' links that can be opened by hand without a link removal tool." Ummm, dude (or dudette), you can't remove a master link by hand: no way, no how.

Perhaps the worst bit of advice - or lack of advice - is this bit of crapola:

"If the chain slaps the frame while you're riding, or appears to sag, it's too long. Remove one link with the tool." Umm, dumbass; someone who'd actually done this (oh, we dunno, like maybe this guy) would know that you shorten the new chain to the proper length before installing it. This prevents having to break the chain again after it's already on the bike.  It's a damned shame that this "eHow Sports and Fitness Editor" is anonymous, but since eHow has left this garbage in place since at least 2004, we guess the whole site can be the Dumbass of the Day. Then again, perhaps we should lay the award at the feet of the site's chief editor, Richard Lally...

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was    ehow.com/how_2099_replace-bike-chain.html

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