Saturday, April 18, 2015

Granite Countertops for Dummies

"Granite," my ass!
You can't blame Mr or Ms homeowner for being unaware that, to the kitchen industry, there are only three kinds of stone: marble, granite and soapstone. You can, however, blame Mr or Ms freelance-writer-hungry-for-more-pennies. In this case, blame the eHow.com drone who goes by the name of Anne Madison – for lousy research into the materials vendors use to make "stone" countertops, the fruits of which she (naturally) shared with the internet in a post titled "Soapstone Vs. Granite Countertops"¹ (while collecting a stipend from the content farmers at Demand Media). Oh, Anne gets some of it right, but then she gets most of it wrong. Let's start here:
"Soapstone is a metamorphic rock also known as steatite. It's made up of three different elements -- talc, magnesium silicate and chlorite -- so it will be harder or softer depending on the percentage of each of these parts in that piece of soapstone. The more talc involved, the softer the stone will be.
Granite is a natural stone that began as liquid magma from the Earth's core. It contains several minerals, such as quartz and mica, which were compressed over time into one of the hardest stones on earth, second only to diamond. It is also quite porous."
Ummm, no. Talc is (a) magnesium silicate, so her list is redundant. The composition of steatite is indeed predominantly talc, though other silicates including chlorite and minerals from the amphibole group are also present. Here's a hint: pure talc would be so soft as to be useless. As for granite, the two defining minerals are quartz and (orthoclase) feldspar; not "mica" (which isn't even a mineral, it's a group of minerals). It also isn't "compressed," isn't "second only to diamond" in hardness, and cannot be considered "quite porous" unless you're comparing it to window glass.
     Last but not least, granite countertops aren't necessarily granite. Just because the industry calls it granite doesn't mean that's what kind of rock it is -- right now, we're typing on a "granite" countertop that is in reality an interesting augen gneiss. Here's a little surprise for you, Anne: the slab at your local Marble Slab Creamery ain't marble, either: most of the time it's quartz monzonite.

For being too stupid to read past the advertising copy, Anne Madison receives our Dumbass of the Day. Add it to the wall of shame at eHow, will ya, Anne?

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was    ehow.com/about_5381885_soapstone-vs-granite-countertops.html
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