Plumbers for the Dummy Homeowner

Sink plumbing

Freelancers in the know use, access, and consult tools that allow them to view what searches are being performed; apparently in hopes of capitalizing on the urgent need of 'netizens for information about something other than celebrities, porn, and celebrity porn. The freelancers then fulfill that need, no matter how foolish the question and no matter how tenuous their own connection to the knowledge he or she posts. Sometimes the combination of topic and ignorance is downright hilarious. Take, for instance, Seekyt's iolaharder, who shared a gusher of useless verbal sewage in "Exactly What Really does a Plumber do?" (that's her title; not ours).

If you didn't already know what plumbers do – and who over the age of about twelve doesn't? – Iola wouldn't be much help. That's because Iola really gets into her freelancing, carefully rewording and reordering information she just ripped off from somewhere else. Take this first paragraph:

"They will understand intimately how to use tools and materials such as bolts, clamps, different kinds and sizes of wrenches, various screws and screwdrivers, washers of various sizes, superglue, caulk and caulking guns, and industrial rubber cement. The plumber understands how to detect leaks in piping fixtures and how to accurately discover the source of and look at the reasons for any leak." I'll grant you that the information is (mostly) correct, but "intimate understanding" of tools, etc, isn't the first thing that comes to mind when we think of plumbers here at the Antisocial Network. No, we think of something buried in the next paragraph:

"They could also install, or uninstall and re-install, or investigate and if needed repair various water-using appliances and appliance systems including dishwashers, clothes washers, whole sink systems, whole toilet systems, whole bathtub and shower systems, water purification systems, drainage systems, water heaters, and sump pumps."

When you get right down to it, the funniest - or dumbest - attribute of Iola's little article is her apparent adoration for the rule of threes (more):

assess, remove, and reinstall install, or uninstall and re-install, or investigate and if needed repair building, remodelling, or extension project bend down, crawl around, fit himself into tight spaces, work while on this [sic] back, and also have two dextrous hands

Funn-ee! or it would be if it weren't spun content about something iolaharder doesn't understand in the least, yet tells us all about without a single mention of plumber's crack! the dumbass... the Dumbass of the Day.

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