Friday, April 24, 2015

Toilets for Dummy Plumbers (HubPages Week)

Fun toilet
Fun toilet
Ahhhh, the toilet. The commode, water closet, crapper, porcelain bus: by whatever name you know him, John is an important member of the modern household, which is why modern houses come with a toilet; and many come with more than just the one. Apparently in HubPages land, however, potties aren't all that common – and this means that penny-hungry freelancers like the guy who calls himself lucionogue (Lucio Nogueira) are more than happy to tell you how to install one of the things. Why you might need advice, especially of this quality, shall remain a mystery. Let's see what lucionogue has to share in "How Toilet Installation and Vent Pipe."¹ A hint to any prospective readers: the article makes about as much sense as the title. Here's Lucio's checklist for the process...
     
"In order to make sure that a new toilet installation is something feasible, consider the followings:

  1. Is there any existing plumbing close by to the location where the toilet will be installed?
  2. If not, how much plumbing will need to be done?
  3. Have you ever done this type of work?
  4. Does the room where the future toilet will be installed has enough space for a toilet? Sink, Shower or tub if applicable?
  5. Have you consider [sic] the fact that, when installting [sic] a toilet, you will also have to install drain pipes for secondary lines and water lines, no including electrical work?"
Dude, for starters, how stupid do you think people are? Is there enough room for a toilet? Did you know that you'll need to connect it to a sewer line? And, of course, my favorite:  "no including electrical work." He must be thinking of those models with automatic lid-closers and heated seats. Dumbass.

Of course, in reality he only published this marvelous information in an attempt to drive eyeballs to his own, now-defunct website - that's why there actually isn't jack in there about the actual how-to process. What a whore! For this classic example of internet bait-and-switch and for insulting our intelligence, we hereby award lucionogue the coveted Dumbass of the Day Award, HubPages division.     


¹ The post has been deleted either by the site or the author; however, it can still be viewed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   lucionogue.hubpages.com/hub/Toilet-Installation-and-Vent-Pipe
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