Thursday, April 2, 2015

Writing Tips from a Dummy ESL Student

Dumbass of the Day number 50 (yea, Team Dumbass!) comes to us from the wide, wonderful world of "Do as I say, not as I do." It also comes from a website widely known for its exemplary writing – NOT – by which we mean Seekyt.com, compliments of a member who calls himself ishrabatool. What a tool.  Ishra's topic is "Few Steps of Essay Writing," a title that by all itself is a hint of what you'd see if you ventured to read it. We wouldn't, if we were you. It just might make your eyes bleed. These samples ought to suffice...

Consider ishrabatool's introductory paragraph:
"People have different writing styles as their thinking and perceiving the things is always unique. So, all the writing style is different due to the difference in their mind and perception of different things. But according to some of the writers, the essay writing techniques and the style is always same but the difference is in the context of the writing."
It's hard to tell, but this is probably spun content. Hell, it might be spun from content that was already spun. It might even be spun from this steaming pile of bad grammar advice over at HubPages. Whatever... Here's what ishrabatool says are the steps an essay writer should follow:
"The following are some of the steps which is being followed in order to write the best quality and an expert essay:
  1. Well structures essay: People take help from the different sources so that the essay should be well structured...
  2. Don’t add too much: People should not ask the essay writing service provider to provide the essay too lengthy...
  3. Superb style:The [sic] words used in the writing of an essay should be appropriate and must be natural..."
Wow: simply wow... this guy writes in English like our staffers write in Mandarin – and they only know three or four words in Mandarin among them. It says a lot about Seekyt that this drivel has two likes – the author himself and the administrator. Apparently, Seekyt's one of those sites with a designated whore who likes and/or friends everyone – in this case, it's James H... We're not sure which one deserves to be the Dumbass of the Day more!     
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