Oil Exploration for Dummies

Jim's apparently never heard of "maps"...

Although at $50 per barrel crude oil isn't a particularly hot commodity these days, the Beverly Hillbillies model for instant wealth remains part of the American Dream. Though Jed Clampett supposedly struck oil when he missed a rabbit with his long gun, finding oil on one's property really isn't all that simple. That's why people ask questions like "How to Find Out If Your Land Has Oil," though if they're expecting eHow.com's Jim Franklin and his Sciencing.com answer to be of any help at all, they're sadly mistaken...

Jim found himself an elementary-school description of oil wildcatting and (as is usual at eHow) simply reworded it. In the process, though, he had some rather interesting things to say:

"Rather than using a drill to test random spots for oil presence, specialists like geologists and geophysicists are consulted. They use equipment to determine the existence of oil under your land's surface."

And here we thought Demand Media detested passive voice... but anyway, those scientists don't just "use equipment," they also use knowledge, education and training. But anyway, we like statements like "Oil is formed from decayed organic matter or hydrocarbons..."

Umm, yeah - "from hydrocarbons." Needed a couple of extra (and useless) words for that minimum count, Jim? Then we have

"A geologist examines rocks and studies the presence of hydrocarbons below the ground. A geologist can research the area where you live and perform a field inspection to determine the possibility of oil."

A geologist "...studies the presence..."? "...perform[s] a field inspection..."? According to the Antisocial Network's staff geologist, that's a rather... asinine description of what a geologist does. But Franklin treats geophysicists even worse:

"Geophysicists study the subsoil's physical properties. This takes a closer look at the likelihood of whether oil exists on your property. Using high-tech equipment, the geophysicist will take measurements and record data from under the property's surface..." Well, Jim, a geophysicist doesn't study the subsoil – that's a pedologist (e.g. a "soil scientist"). But of course, there's more – there's always more! Once the geologist and geophysicist determine "a high probability" that there's oil on your property, you go get it. According to Jim, "Depending on what depth oil is predicted, you may need to use a drilling rig..."

"May need" a drilling rig? Is good ol' Jim suggesting you can drill for oil with a cordless drill? dig for it with a shovel? Sheesh: what a dumbass. Of course, like so much eHow content, the original question arose from a fairly substantial level of stupidity; but that's not an acceptable excuse! If someone really wanted to know how to find out if there's oil on their land, they sure as hell wouldn't follow Jim Franklin's instructions - and that's why he's the Antisocial Network's Dumbass of the Day!

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