Gibberish for Dummies (Seekyt Week 3)

Gastrointestinal tract

What kind of internet content would be worse than advertising disguised as (bad) advice? We asked ourselves that question quite some time ago and weren't really sure there was something worse. At least not until we ran into some Seekyt garbage called "How to get free motions? Some advice for staying fit and healthy," posted by a member calling himself rakhi143 (we call him Rakhi). After we read that one, we were pretty sure that gibberish written only for the purposes of self-promotion is just a little worse.

Why self-promotion? Because Rakhi has four links with his Seekyt referral code in the post, and a quick survey of his profile shows that he uses the same first paragraph – with three referral links – for every post. We might have let him get away with that sort of bullshit if his content were... coherent. But it's not. Take a gander at this hot mess:

"In this particular post, I am going to discuss the ways of getting free motion and its necessity. Do not feel shy and we should know- why it is important and how to do the things."

What you need to understand (and what isn't readily apparent) is that in Rakhi's native India, "free motion" is what people in the USA call "regularity" -- a "good morning sitdown," as some might call it. You can figure that out with a little between-the-lines reading:

"Everything that we eat gets digested and excretion takes place. Hence we get energy from the intake of food in various formats. We also get the toxic substances accumulated in our body. These toxixc substances if not eliminated properly can cause many problems resulting in acne, gastro-entrities and others. So, in order to get rid of such problems we have to get free motions daily [sic]. This makes all those toxic materials get outside our body"

We weren't aware that constipation leads to acne, were you? And WTF is a "gastro-entrities"? Gastroenteritis? Anyway,  now that we know what Rakhi's actually writing about, how's his advice? Fairly shitty, we fear:

Immediately after waking up early in the morning drink at least 1-2 litres of water. Drinking water always in the rest of the day is somewhat difficult. Hence you can substitute it for alternatives like water melon and others. These contain water as the major portion. You can also take fresh fruit juices. Regular intake of fresh fruits and green leafy vegetables helps us in solving this and many other problems. After eating walk for a small distance and then eat 2 bananas. Bananas are a great medicine for proper digestion.

We suppose the fresh fruit advice is helpful (though rather elementary), but drinking a couple of liters of water first thing in the morning? Isn't water (mainly) excreted via the urinary system rather than via that healthy dump? And if it's hard to get lots of water during the day, why would it be easier to get watermelon or fruit juice? As for the bananas, well, maybe: they aren't as fiber-rich as some people think.

Maybe Rakhi should have warned his readers to cut down on fat and fried foods, exercise regularly and eat a diet that's higher in fiber than the usual western diet. But no, he just said to drink lots of water and eat bananas in a diet that would give some folks a raging case of diarrhea. What a dumbass: a Dumbass of the Day more concerned with picking up some pennies than in good content.

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DD - HEALTH