Bookshelf Design, the Dummy Method

Badly designed bookcase

It used to be that if we wanted to undertake a new project, we'd start with our bookshelves or maybe head over to the local bookstore to pick up a new glossy book with a few plans and lots of suggestions. In the age of the internet, though, we just google the project and hope we find something useful in all the millions of hits. Well, we're here to remind you that a good portion of the instructions out there on the internet, especially after the first page of results, may well be suspect. Let's say you want to build a bookcase: let's hope that you don't try to follow instructions like those posted to Suite.io (formerly suite.com, if anyone cares) by A. L. (Amy) Fetherlin in a "story" (that's what they call them at Suite – we kid you not) she titled "How to Make an Adjustable Shelf Bookcase.¹

Fetherlin's been here before, proving that time that she knows little to nothing about her claimed "hobby" of woodworking – we'd be more inclined to call it wood-destroying, but that would probably be considered "mean." But let's get to the point: Amy wants to help you "...make your own tall adjustable-shelf bookcase using a nice wood such as pine or cherry..." Let's see what her project looks like.
Fetherlin starts out with a materials list, made up of a bunch of "plywood boards." Right there we know she's a tyro, since there's no such thing as a "plywood board." Her instructions to use 1-inch plywood make that even more obvious -- sure, you can special-order one-inch plywood, but are you ready to pay for it? What's the reason for not using the widely-available 3/4-inch plywood? As you read down through the list, you also see "10 metal 1/4-inch shelf pins" -- enough for 2-1/2 shelves, since each one takes four shelf supports... moving on: after providing instructions for drilling the holes for the shelf supports, A. L. says to

"Place one 68-inch board in a table vice [sic] tightened at the middle of the board. Create the top and bottom of the bookcase using two 22 1/2-inch 1-by-12-inch plywood boards, a hammer and 1 1/2-inch nails. Nail one 22 1/2-inch board to the top edge of the holed side of one of the 68-inch bookcase boards with the shorter board flush with the top of the 68-inch board. Nail a second 22 1/2-inch board to the bottom edge of the holed side of the 68-inch board so the shorter board is flush with the bottom edge of the board."

OK, we follow that. Here's what's wrong with it: first, you don't assemble plywood with nails. Period. The edges of plywood don't hold nails -- they don't even hold screws all that well. Instead, you use glue, preferably combined with a rabbet or a dado. Second, you had darned well better square this thing -- something she conveniently forgets. Next, you're supposed to

"Hammer a 24-inch 1-by-12-inch plywood board to the bottom and one 24-inch 1-by-12-inch plywood board to the top of the base with 1 1/2-inch nails. The ends of these two boards will be flush with the outer edges of the 68-inch side boards." The nail thing again. Now comes the good stuff: since Fetherlin's stealing these plans from somewhere that uses 1-inch lumber instead of plywood, the 24-inch boards you're supposed to attach in this step (we're not sure where the hell they're supposed to go) are going to be half an inch too short. That's because 1-inch plywood is actually 1" thick instead of the ¾" thickness of nominal one-inch lumber... And still she goes on: "Lay the box down on the floor. Hammer a 72-by-24-inch plywood board to the back of the box with 1/2-inch wood tacks at one-inch intervals around the outer edge of the board..."

We're not certain (since the instructions are so bad) but we're pretty sure that the combination of the 68-inch sides and the two 1-inch... extra pieces... is 70 inches. That's not gonna fit very well (though it might help square this crap up a bit). And how thick is this back supposed to be? Fetherlin's mum on that.

Fetherlin's also mum on finishing the carcass of the shelves -- we wonder how she planned to conceal those sandwich edges. Apparently the place she sort of copied the plans from didn't say... and being the quintessential Dumbass of the Day, Fetherlin didn't say either. No worries: she'd probably have gotten that wrong, too.

¹ This website is now defunct, and archive.org's Wayback machine never made a copy of the post. Oh, well, no loss...

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