Wiring Switches for Dummies

Wiring multiple lights on one switch

An adage from grandpa's time tells us, "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach." Here at the Antisocial Network, we've decided to update that old saw for the information age: "Those who can, do; those who can't, freelance by copying off those who can." There's little more irritating to the knowledgeable than finding that some idiot is making good money off of faking experience and knowledge. You know, people like so many of eHow.com's "contributors"? In specific, like repeat offender Elizabeth Knoll, caught this time pretending to know her rear end from a hole in the ground (and failing... abjectly... as usual) in "How to Wire an Additional Light to an Existing Light and Switch"? [now at Hunker.com]

Liz, who's demonstrated her incompetence several times already in fields from framing carpentry to finish carpentry to basic electrical work (and, we expect, eventually in plumbing) here takes on a task that could range from quite simple to rather daunting, depending on your access to the ceiling and/or walls. But hell, she starts out screwed up when she instructs her readers to

"Turn off all power supply to the room in which you will be working."

Even the outlets? what if I'm in my kitchen? do I need to turn off the power to the stove? No, dummy: turn off the power to the circuit, not the room. And yes, make certain that all circuits passing through any junction box you might need to open are "dead." Next, Liz has us install an electrical box, working from the attic: "Place the electrical box over the pilot hole, and use a pencil to trace around it. Cut this tracing out with a drywall saw. Position the electrical box in the hole, and adjust the arms on the side of the box so that they are tight to the wooden joists on either side. Secure the arms to the joists with screws." But wait: what if you want to install the light on the first floor of a two-story house? Cut a hole in the second-story floor? Dumbass. Of course, Elizabeth demonstrates her vast experience as a journeyman electrician in the instruction,

"Measure the length from the existing light to where your new light will be. Cut lengths of 14-gauge white wire, green wire and black wire to reach this distance..."

What: she's never heard of insulated cable, like Romex®? What a maroon. Elizabeth continues in this same vein with more stupidity when she instructs her readers to

"Run the new wires across the attic to your new light..."

...though we're pretty certain her instructions wouldn't meet the electrical code of any first- or second-world country, and probably none of the third-world ones, either. And Knoll finishes up by "informing" readers that they must then

"Connect the white wire you ran through the attic to the white wire coming off the ceiling electrical box with a wire nut. Do the same with the black wires..."

We hate to be the bearer of bad news, Liz, but there are no wires "coming off the... electrical box": there are wires coming from the new light fixture, but those wires don't connect to the electrical box (except, perhaps, the ground wire).
No, Liz demonstrates consistent incompetence, even while getting paid to "inform" her readers. For her inability to demonstrate even the slightest actual knowledge of the task, we hereby award Elizabeth yet another Dumbass of the Day.

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