Clinometers for Dummies

Clinometer

It's said that the truly wise person is not the one who knows everything, it's the one who knows how to find out everything. Well, that was true in the age when researching a question involved a trip to the library or, at the very least, to one's shelf of reference books. In the age of the internet, however, anyone can find out anything – or so we've been told. The problem, of course, is that the information that comes may end up being, shall we say, substandard. By "substandard," we mean "wrong"; on a bad day, we mean "utter bull." We weren't initially sure whether today's a bad day or not – we'll let you decide whether Catalina Bixler was wrong or spreading the bull in her eHow.com post, "Uses of a Clinometer" (now appearing at the Leaf Group niche site CareerTrend.com).

We're leaning more toward the utter bull end of the spectrum if only because Catalina never bothers to mention of the function of a clinometer: "The clinometer is a versatile and exacting instrument used by many professions that makes streets and sidewalks safer, keeps buildings from sliding off hillsides and provides formulas for building stabilized bridges crossing expanses of water and deep ravines. This remarkable instrument determines heights of mountains, measures the true distance of a horizon and calculates the grade of an incline. All of these are necessary for surveying, building cities and skyscrapers and mapping the world, the moon and even our closest planets."

We expected to find the definition of a clinometer in the intro, but it's not there – it's not in the post anywhere. In fact, the "versatile instrument" doesn't "determine the height of a mountain" or measure the "true distance of a horizon"; whatever that means. It doesn't even "calculate the grade of an incline": a clinometer measures angles, even though Bixler never says so.

Catalina also spreads more bullshit, such as this statement about geologists:

"[a clinometer] assists geologists to assess the height of a tree or a mountain."

and another winner about surveyors:

"Surveyors... use this multipurpose instrument for measuring angles in reference to gravity. "

We aren't sure why geologists might be interested in the height of a tree (or, for that matter, a mountain); and we doubt most people have any earthly idea what an angle "in reference to gravity" might be. We found another Bixler claim that 

"Use of the clinometer with a specific mathematical formula--height x distance x angle...to assess the height of a tree or a mountain..."

...to be especially charming, although we have no idea how one might multiply distances by angles and we also had to wonder why she uses height in that formula to "assess height." Perhaps if she knew something about trigonometry? but we realize that innumeracy is such an impediment...  With ridiculous statements like those, Catalina's explanation of clinometers definitely wandered across the line from "wrong" to "utter bullshit." It's rubbish like this that makes it so easy to find a new Dumbass of the Day every day!

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