Metric Conversions for Dummies (Math Week 1)

Centimeters to feet conversion

Everybody's lazy sometimes, which is why, from time to time, the staff of the Antisocial Network will wander the internet looking for repeat dumbassery from previous DotD recipients. How else do you think we've nailed people like Naima Manal ten times (and counting) on two different websites? Our most frequent contributor, however, is Joan Whetzel: eleven times (so far) on two different websites with potential contributions on three more. What makes Joan so special is that she just doesn't seem to get it, especially when not being edited by the eHow.com content editors (many of whom have... "questionable"... skills themselves). So we thought it might be interesting to look through our to-be-skewered list for more contributions from Ms. Whetzel; and she didn't disappoint. Well, actually, she did disappoint, as usual, in the HubPages.com post she titled "How to Convert Height in Centimeters to Feet."¹

Did you know that if you Google "centimeters to feet" or, for that matter, "cm to ft," Google will kindly pop up a conversion tool at the top of the search results? You don't need to wade through Whetzel's 800-word explanation, you can just type in a measurement in centimeters and Bingo! you have an answer. Of course, if you didn't read the entire 800 words (803, to be more precise), you wouldn't be treated to some of Joan's more inane verbiage, such as

"The US measures height in feet and inches. The rest of the world, however, uses the metric system to measure height. It can be fun and interesting to convert somebody's height to the measurement that you are unfamiliar with, but where the understanding of converting between the measurements comes in handy is when ordering things for the home or office (i.e. furniture, equipment) that needs to fit into a space with specific height requirements."

Interestingly enough, in a different article (this one about temperature - you'll probably see it later), Joan points out that Myanmar (Burma) and Liberia also don't officially use the metric system, but apparently forgets it here. Duh. That's not to mention, who the hell is Joan ordering furniture from that doesn't state its measurements in Imperial units? Doesn't she realize the shipping charges from Europe?

Be that as it may, the real reason we are awarding Joan yet another DotD is this "example" of a conversion: "One centimeter is equivalent to 0.03208399 [emphasis ours] feet. So to convert a height measurement in centimeters to a measurement in feet, multiply the centimeter measurement by 0.03208399 feet. Example: The new book shelf has a height measurement of 250 cm. It needs to fit into a nook that is 4 feet (48 inches) in height. Will it fit? Multiply: 250 cm x 0.03208399 ft. = 8.02 feet. So the book shelves measure just over 8 feet in height and will not fit into the nook."

Umm, yeah... She says that, even though just a few lines lower one of her cute little tables cites the correct conversion factor of 0.032808399 for centimeters to feet (notice the missing digit?). In other words, Joan's example is wrong: 250 cm = 8.2 feet, not 8.02! What a friggin' moron!

We always find Joan's passion for precision to be amusing: here, she supplies eight decimal places of precision for converting centimeters to feet (which is easy to get from Google). But if you want to go the other way? Joan says,

"Another way to convert a centimeter measurement to US standard length is to convert to inches first, before converting the inches to feet. One centimeter is equal to 0.4 inches."

Well, no, Joan, one centimeter = 0.393700787 inches. If you use that level of precision, your 250-cm bookcase comes out to be 8.2 feet tall; use 0.4 as your conversion factor and it's 8.33 feet tall (a 1½" difference). We simply don't understand eight decimals of precision in one direction and one decimal place in the other, but you probably didn't even notice; and neither did any of your followers (though since it's HubPages, we weren't surprised).

It's stupid mistakes like these combined with a wealth of garden-variety dumbassery that have made Joan Whetzel the queen of her category and winner of the Dumbass of the Day sweepstakes – twelve times (and counting)!

¹ The post has been deleted and was never archived by archive.org's Wayback machine. Oh, well, no loss...

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