Indianapolis for Dummy Visitors

Children's Museum of Indianapolis

We have a staffer or two here at the Antisocial Network who've done some traveling over their real-life careers (one's been on six continents...) so we find it so-called "travel" reviews simply harvested from chamber of commerce PR releases rather irritating; especially those written by people who it's pretty obvious have never actually visited the featured destination. We also have a staffer who's lived in Indianapolis... twice. So he was somewhat taken aback to find repeat offender Isabelle Esteves holding forth on "Three good reasons to visit Indianapolis, Ind." for the fake (and now defunct)¹ news site Examiner.com (which, we suspect, she repurposed from her account at another dead website, Helium.com). We did wonder what other Indianapolis Izzy might have been thinking about, since (as far as we know) there's only one.²

According to Esteves,

"...Indianapolis has an amazing variety to things to see and do. There is history, sports and the arts. The home of the Indianapolis 500, Benjamin Harrison and one of the finest art museums in the country has a lot of offer visitors of all ages..."

Interestingly enough, Isabelle pretty much blew it with her three, or at least two of them. Number one, according to Izzy, is "One of the most beautiful presidential sites in the country is located in Indianapolis. The Benjamin Harrison House is not only very attractive; it has one of the best tours we have ever taken. You learn things you never knew about the 23rd president such as the fact that he was the grandson of the 9th president William Henry Harrison." What is a "presidential site," anyway? By the by, if Esteves did not know that Benjamin was William's grandson, she definitely wasn't paying attention in school... Number two, then, is

"Located on the grounds of the Indianapolis Speedway, the Hall of Fame is a must visit for race car fans or even those who just love an outstanding car display. This writer is by no means a racing fan however; visiting here was an amazing experience..."

Izzy doesn't mention that the Speedway isn't in Indianapolis, it's in Speedway... And for number three, Isabelle trots out the usual Indianapolis Museum of Art (now known as "Newfields"). How hackneyed. Can you think of a more boring set of three "attractions"? Those aren't "good reasons" at all for the vast majority of travelers... As our staff Indianapolisian... Indyan... Hoosier explained to us, Isabelle had screwed the pooch in several ways by overlooking more interesting (and less mainstream) attractions such as:

1. She said "for all ages," and yet she did not mention the Children's Museum of Indianapolis, often cited as the finest institution of its kind in North America.
2. She mentioned the one-day-a-year thrill of the Indianapolis 500, but said nothing at all about the NCAA Hall of Champions, which covers amateur sports year-round.
3. She talks about the Indianapolis Museum of Art, but apparently couldn't spell the name of The Eiteljorg Museum of American Indians and Western Art (much less pronounce it...).
4. She talks about the Benjamin Harrison museum, but can't be bothered to mention the 1700-acre park -- in the middle of the city! -- that was established on the site of a former army base named for that prez, Fort Harrison State Park.
5. She says not a word about the dozens of local brewpubs. Such a shame - or sham...
6. And the opportunities for walkers or bikers on the Indianapolis Cultural Trail? Why no mention?

Nope, it's pretty clear the Isabelle just picked up some old (probably mid-seventies) travel book and googled the attractions she found there. Had she actually visited Indy (some time since 1980), Iz might have noticed the the city is no longer the stodgy place, sometimes called "Naptown" or "India-no-place," she found described in her vintage travel guide. But she hadn't, she didn't, and she couldn't -- and in our book, that's more than qualification enough for a Dumbass of the Day award.

¹ This website is now defunct, but you can see the post using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   examiner.com/list/three-good-reasons-to-visit-indianapolis-ind
² Actually, there is also an Indianapolis in Iowa and one in Oklahoma, but both are unincorporated.

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