Water Heater Maintenance for Dummies

Typical water heater

As research staffers at the Antisocial Network comb the internet looking for idiotic statements and misinformation from the keyboards of self-appointed freelancers, from time to time the cube farm echoes with howls of laughter. You gotta know, some of these people say the stupidest things; but the best are the ones who pretend expertise by writing multiple, related articles. Take, for instance, meggie over at InfoBarrel.com¹: we nailed her... err, "singled her out" a few months go for pretending she knew something about water heaters. It seems she decided to spin her (lack of) expertise into a second article on the topic. We suspect her home's water heater went tits-up, so she decided to write about what the Meggie household did wrong with the old one and what they bought to replace it. Sadly, she did a lousy job both times, including the latest piece she titled "Water Heater Maintenance."

Where Meg went wrong is not in her advice – heck, anyone can copy a list of water heater maintenance tips (and many have) – it's with her delivery. Here, see what we mean:

"Maintenance is important as it gives you the opportunity to replace those parts that are worn out and also as a regular inspection to prevent bigger problems later on. Identify problems ahead of time will help you avoid the situation of the unit going down and being without warm water for days."

Sounds right, doesn't it? Though to be honest, there are very few replaceable parts in the typical water heater -- they usually have to be junked and replaced entirely. But hey, Meggie has some suggestions for "maintenance":

"In order to check for leakages [sic], use the pressure valve for inspection."

Huh? First, we think she probably means "temperature-pressure relief valve"; and second, we aren't sure how testing (not "inspecting") the TPR valve can be considered "checking for leakages." And then there's

"It is advisable to clean the inside of your water heater in order to remove sediments that may have collected on the electrical elements affecting their working." Could it be that you're talking about the anode rod (in either an electric or gas water heater)? Then why do you discuss it again later? Be that as it may, wouldn't it be more helpful if you actually said something about how one cleans the interior of a water heater -- you know, drain the water to clean out the sediment? Duh. Meggie has plenty to say, plus trying to sell you a book -- though it's a book on hot water heating systems, not a book on water heaters (dumb, dumb, dumb). We especially, however, liked her statement that

"Like all appliances, these are complex machines and you may be taking a risk doing maintenance yourself. Do not attempt if you do not know what you are doing."

Never mind that a water heater is actually a pretty simple appliance: it has no motors, no belts, little in the way of controls -- in fact, it can't actually be called a "machine"! So what makes it so "complex," Meggie? and for what little it's worth, we'd like to reword that second sentence: "Do not take my advice because I don't know what I'm talking about!" By now, dear reader, you should know better than to take the advice of a Dumbass of the Day!

¹ InfoBarrel has deleted all its user-generated content to become a "green" website, but the original dreck can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   www.infobarrel.com/Water_Heater_Maintenance

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