Changing Kitchen Sinks for Dummies

This is what a sink looks like, Andrew

Freelancers: you've got to love 'em! Well, actually you don't. If these self-appointed "jacks of some trades, masters of none" of the world-wide web restricted themselves to writing about topics for which they have expertise or experience, most of them would have had to quit after about three posts. That never stops the worst of them, though — they'll throw everything but the kitchen sink into their portfolios... in fact, some of them have thrown the kitchen sink into their portfolios. Yep, we're talkin' Andrew Hsu (aka AndrewtheMandrew) of InfoBarrel.com, here caught trying to tell his readers "How to Change a Kitchen Sink."

Without belaboring our point, let's just say that Andrew seems to have attempted some plumbing in his DIY career (we say that because he seems to have heard of a basin wrench), but he's got some problems when it comes to telling people about it. Wonder why we'd say that? Well, we say that because Andrew's lengthy instructions begin with

"Faucets come in several different variations which sometimes depend on the shape and type of sink you wish to modify or install the faucet on but generally speaking, there are two types of faucets that are generally used: Top mounted and bottom mounted. With top mounted faucets, all the installation hardware is on the bottom of the faucet under the sink. Bottom mounted faucets have their mounting hardware on the surface of the sink and under the handles."

Ummm, we think Andrew's talking about countertop and wall-mounted faucets, but we actually aren't sure. Reading more of his post, we learn (and we use the word "learn" loosely) that "For top mounted faucets, the faucet is generally held in place with wing nuts screwed into the bottom side of the faucet to the sink surface. You can remove these with your basin-wrench if you need to or with your fingers if they happen to be loose enough. For bottom mounted faucets, you will have to remove the handles before you can get to the nuts holding the faucet in place."

Wing nuts? Is he crazy? And heaven help you if your faucet is so loose you can remove the mounting nuts with your fingers... Whatever. Hsu then goes into death-defying (and boring) detail about how to install a new faucet, detail that relies heavily on

"...as directed by the instructions."

Once that's out of the way, you attach the water lines and, as Andrew says,

"It's time to pat yourself on the back or do a dance or something because you're done."

Cute. Stupid, but cute. Now it's time to look at that title again: How to Change a Kitchen Sink — but this article, even though Hsu claims he tells you about sinks, is entirely about changing a faucet. Since Andrew doesn't know the difference (or, perhaps, he scammed his readers into reading the wrong article), the Dumbass of the Day seems a fitting award.

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