Fossil Fuels for the Total Dummy

Crude oil

In the last decade, the money-hungry freelancers filled the internet with the kind of rubbish that has frustrated middle-school teachers since... well, since the first middle-school teachers. We're talking half-assed answers here, and bull based on incomplete, shallow research. You know, the kind of answer that just skims the surface without actually bothering with facts, right? You don't know? Well, the researchers here at the Antisocial Network have turned up a striking example of this kind of "knowledge"; if one can dignify the answer with that word. The content was perpetrated upon the 'net at, no surprise here, eHow.com; and it was posted by contributor Robert Balun in response to the question "Why Are Fossil Fuels Non-Renewable?"¹

We'll answer it for Balun in a single sentence: "Fossil fuels are non-renewable because the rate at which they form is many orders of magnitude slower than the rate at which they are consumed." Robert, of course, was constrained by Demand Media's minimum word count; hence he gave a more or less correct, although mercilessly childish, answer in his introduction"

"Fossil fuels are a type of fuel made from prehistoric plants and animals. Humans extract fossil fuels from the earth and burn them to generate energy. Fossil fuels have a lot of energy stored inside them because they have a high carbon content. Since fossil fuels take millions of years to form and are burned to generate electricity, they are considered a finite resource, or non-renewable." Although based in fact, we note that the assertion that "Fossil fuels are a type of fuel made from prehistoric plants and animals..." is remarkably simplistic, not to mention not saying how they are "made." But now that he had the factoid out of the way, Balun just went bonkers, rattling off a string of half-truths and misinformation as if it were gospel, rubbish like:

"Oil is a dark liquid composed of diatoms, or tiny photosynthetic algae, and other forms of organic matter that were buried underground over 300 million years ago."

Huh? Oil is made of diatoms (and only diatoms)? And "buried underground" over 300 million years ago? Well, no, Robert:

1. The precursor organisms to oil comprise far more than merely diatoms (though we must give this dumbass partial credit for not claiming oil is decomposed dinosaurs)
2. The oldest known diatoms date to Early Cretaceous, so we're talking no more than 150 million years ago.  

Balun went on to "explain" to us that

"The California Energy Commission states that during the carboniferous period, about 360 to 286 million years ago, large quantities of organic matter, such as trees, ferns and algae, were buried underneath layers of mud and sediment. Over time more and more layers of rock and sediment formed on top of these organic deposits, which slowly pressed the moisture out of them, leaving behind fossilized remains. Depending on their chemical composition, these fossilized remains formed coal, oil or natural gas."

While each sentence is demonstrably correct (with the proviso that Balun learn that "Carboniferous Period" is capitalized), the implication is that all fossil fuels are sourced in Carboniferous strata -- a ridiculous assertion. Oil and gas are known from rocks of all ages since the Cambrian (and perhaps the Precambrian), and coal deposits are known all the way back to the Carboniferous. In fact some of the most voluminous oil accumulations are sourced in strata deposited during the Lower Cretaceous anoxic event.

Robert also had problems with the concept of reservoirs:

"Some fossil fuels are found underground in pockets that are formed from the movement of the earth."

That's the typical dumbass "pocket" misconception, compounded by the assertion that these pockets result from "earth movements." What a dumbass.

It's this sort of scientific illiteracy (Balun was a history major) that has made the American educational system a laughingstock in technical circles. Why else would educators across the country bemoan the low quality of STEM education, unless it's because people like this know so little yet say so much. Well, Robert may not know jack about oil but he still gets a prize: the Dumbass of the Day award!

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was    ehow.com/about_6376158_fossil-fuels-non_renewable_.html

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