Repairing Basement Windows for Dummies

Typical basement window configuration

Around these parts (the Antisocial Network's International Headquarters building) we are always interested in do-it-yourself projects and repairs. For one thing, DIY projects can be fun and satisfying when they result in a job well done. For another, it's a darn-sight cheaper to do it yourself than hire a professional. Not that we have anything against pros; we use them when we realize the project is beyond our skills. What we don't like is half-assed freelancers telling us – wrong – how to do our projects. You know, the kind of people we hand out DotD awards to? People like the yahoo that calls himself hubauthority over at HubPages.com? Yeah, that guy: the same one that demonstrated his ignorance about home repair in a post he called "How to Repair Your Basement Windows." How, indeed...

We have a few basement windows at HQ, though only one is the type that hubbie here seems to be talking about; the ones of which s/he says

"32/18 is the standard size for basement windows..."

We assume that is supposed to mean 32" x 18", though we all know that to assume makes an ass of, etc. In fact, our local Home Depot sells more than a dozen sizes, the most common being 37 x 19 and 39 x 23. And just what is this "size," anyway, hubbie? the rough opening? the replacement size? the glass? duh... But this self-appointed "authority" has more problems than just size matters. S/he is a little confused about what "reglazing" means -- he thinks it means to replace the putty. No kidding! When talking about removing the old putty, he tells his readers, "In the scraping motion, you will probably hit on a small metal piece that looks a little like the end of a nail.  This is called a point, and keeps the glass in its position.  Therefore, you do not need to remove them, only be careful not to scrape them too hard because they are attached directly onto the glass."

He's talking about the glazier's points used to hold in glass, which aren't in fact "attached directly onto the glass" -- but more importantly, must be removed when you replace a window pane. You see, reglazing a window often means replacing broken glass - not just replacing the putty! (this moron thinks old, dried-out putty is hard enough to scratch the glass)

We liked other bullshit statements from this so-called authority, rubbish like

"While you are putting it on, make sure that you do not apply it past the edge of the window frame on the other side otherwise; you can see the putty from the inside.  That is how you do a good double glazed window."

Really? This moron thinks that's what it means for a window to be "double glazed"? Does he not know that you don't use putty and points for double-glazed windows? Apparently not... and then there's

"Vinyl windows are one of the best options for basement windows for a variety of reasons. First, they save energy, since they keep air conditioning and central heating in... Vinyl can look lovely and add a pleasant flavor to your home."

Funny, that: apparently other windows don't "keep air conditioning and central heating in"! Not to mention that the other kinds don't taste very good... Clearly, this moron is confused about single- and double-glazed windows, thinking that having vinyl frames is why double-glazed windows are more efficient. Dumbass.

Given that HubPages hides what they consider "bad" writing from the public, making writers rework them until they meet some "standard," it's apparent that the editors thought this was good stuff. Boy, were they wrong! So here's our salute to hubauthority and the idiots at HubPages,com -- the Dumbass of the Day award!

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