Visiting Indianapolis for the Dummy Traveler

Indianapolis Children's Museum

It's time to take another look at fake travel reviews again, and with the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 (the iconic auto racing event, no matter what NASCAR fans say), we thought we'd take another look at the Crossroads of America. We've already caught serial armchair traveler Isabelle Esteves pretending to have visited Indy, so we thought we'd see who else out there likes to write fake travel reviews. It took just one google search – indianapolis site:hubpages.com – to turn up a bit of badly-spun content some lazy, self-appointed "freelance writer" had apparently lifted from the city's tourism bureau. The culprit this time? HubPages.com's Arthurart, who performed a not particularly scintillating bit of copy-mangling in a post he called "What to See in Indianapolis."¹

Given that ArthurArt (should we call him Art²?) merely performed a copy-reword-paste job on some PR flack's content, the attractions he mentions are all worthy of attention. In this case, we're calling this dumbass on his spinning job, including such woo-woo bull as

Once you arrive, you find new Indianapoils [sic] with great cultural diversity, numerous arts options, attractions, historic sites and special events. Indianapolis Motor Speedway, an oval track where several famous motorsports world are held, such as NASCAR. Indy is the one day of driving half of the population...  First of all, it is worth to visit the city. Indiana state capital, Indianapolis is 290 km south of Chicago and an hour and a plane from New York half. Veteran’s Memorial Plaza located on the north side of the Michigan’s street is another must-see attraction in Indianapolis.

Wow: just wow. We needed to take a break from this kind of prose before our heads exploded, if only for a minute. You?

• ...you are expected to rent a gondola or a powerboat to enjoy a waterfront trip along the longest central canal...
• If you missed motoring culture in the land, know that there are excellent alternatives as well.
• The Stadium Colts: In the sports field, she devoted the last 25 years as an important event center...
• Surrounding the Lucas Oil Stadium opens another hallmark of Indianapolis: the sports bars. More than 20 bars, each specializing in a sport.
• Not to mention The Slippery Noodle Inn, the oldest bar of any state (and one of the ten oldest in the country).
• The disputed region of craft beers, like Upland's and 3 Floyd's made with barley planted in large Indian interior plains.

Phrases like those are hard to get out of your head, aren't they? And those are just the low points in a post that was probably useful in its original form, but is so difficult to read after this jackass got his spinners on it that it's useless. And that's why we're giving Arthurart our not-so-coveted Dumbass of the Day award. We can only wonder what he had to say about New York and Paris, not to mention "Our Misterious [sic] Universe." We might take a look at that last one later, if we think our stomachs can take it.

¹ The original has been deleted by either Hubpages or the author, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   hubpages.com/travel/What-To-See-In-Indianapolis

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